The type of advice I have been giving lately

Not really a specific advice... but more the thought process that I used when I was giving them. This was a discovery of sorts... but let me start from the beginning.

Of late - since last week, I have been privy two conversations - one with a friend, another with a colleague and they both had female-related problems. I was, it would seem the intended recipient due to the fact that maybe they can and do trust me to be discreet... as both their situations would demand some discretion - hence the reason for my not being too detailed in mentioning any of these situations.

To jump to the point, here is what I can remember to be my thought process. First... both situations had to deal with love triangles (if these were ever the right way to call them), so in both cases, there was a third party being wronged. So my first - obvious suggestion, or reminder is that what they were in was wrong, and I was not playing the immorality card at all - heck, whether they were enjoying any coupling considerations, I shall not say... but even in a platonic style, it would be wrong to the third party involved - I say this loosely, since these two people I had such discussions were more likely to be the real third-party to said relationships.

So like I mentioned, I reminded of the lack of trust in such situations - they of course knew it, and would possibly justify things to themselves. But as I was mentioning the moral repercussions (again, not in a religiously moral stance - but in a natural order moral stance) I also seemed to notice the seeming reluctance for them to acknowledge the situation in such a manner - after, be it a one nighter affair or a longer lasting fling, the fact remains that they were doing something behind another's back or without another's knowledge - the fact that they were doing things in a hidden style - for some fear of discovery, signifies that they acknowledge the wrongness of the situation.

So, what did I learn form this? Well for one, I'm not a prude - let people fornicate for all I care, so long as they do it without betraying others... other than that, they're consenting adults, so they can do whatever they want - after all, I'm not in any moral obligation to stop them, and I did caution them.

Did this realization bother me? Nope. Other than the fact that others might be hurt - or feel betrayed, I said it was up to them. After all, when dispensing advice, one need be careful - fools won't heed it, and the wise won't need it.

Did my giving advice help them? I hope so - unsolicited or not, I wanted to remind them of the situation they were entering into. As a friend, I can do no less.

So why didn't I enter this in the Coaching blog? Well... in this case, though it may be considered a part of coaching, I was more focused on listening and giving advice... not coaching. It was not done in a professional manner, and I was not acting as a coach - but more a sounding board (as I suspect they wanted me to be).

I've imparted my 'wisdom'; only time will tell if it bears fruit or was wasted in this instance. Either way, like I said... I can't intervene any further - and I don't really care. I've mentioned how this will possibly affect them and other parties affected. I've reminded them about the karmic possibilities - what else can or should I do?

I cautioned right... I advised well. I weighed options, helped look at their situation in other angles and mentioned options. Other than that, I can't say more due to the limited exposure, or knowledge of each case - so the rest would be speculation (though in the latter, it seemed to be appropriate inference and deduction).

Good luck to them both, separately of course.