My paradise, lost? (or revisiting Santo Domingo church)

Have you ever been someplace where everything seemed perfect – left it as such, with hopes of returning another day to once again experience the 'idyllic', only to realize that the perfection was more a fluke than a constant?

I guess that’s how I can describe my visit to Santo Domingo church once again. Let me explain…

In a previous blog, I described how ideal Santo Domingo church was to me in terms of peaceful meditation right in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the city…. well, Quezon City, if you want specifics. That experience led me to believe that if one needed a break from it all – specifically a mental and/or spiritual paradisse in nature, then going to far off places need not be done – as the Santo Domingo church offered all these. In a sense, it still does – but let me explain the difference with this, my second visit, that made my experience less-idyllic when compared to the first.

This visit happened last Friday, June 19 at around fifteen minutes before 1pm. After I had dropped Barbie off (coming from lunch), I had about two to four hours to kill – and naturally, I thought ‘why not spend some time in Santo Domingo again, like I had done before?’ Parking is spacious and free, the place is quiet and peaceful and who knows – I could use it to meditate once again.

So tit came as a surprise to me when – as I entered the parking area, I saw vehicles parked… lots of them. My first reaction was, is there a special occasion? I knew not any holiday of obligation that day, so it could not be such… maybe a wedding? You could say that I was that clueless… the most obvious reason, of course, was the last one I thought of… a regularly scheduled Friday noontime mass (okay – before we continue, yes… I felt like a dunce for not thinking of it).

So my first disappointment came across as, no peaceful place – at least, for now. I was sure that once the mass ended and the people left, said peace and quiet would happen. As I waited in the wing, I decided to take a few pictures – this time, with my digicam. Here’s where my second observation of real vs. ideal intruded upon me… to call them beggars would belabor the obvious – yet, I am reluctant to label them as such. I will instead refer to them as the economically challenged. And at least two of them tried approaching me as I was trying to find said peace and quiet… no, not inside the church, rather, outside… waiting for people as they are about to leave, and hoping to get any semblance of alms.

The problem is, I too can consider myself part of this economically challenged group – of course, roaming around in a car while also holding a digicam is not the typical profile of one such person… and I would say that looks can be deceiving, as I really had no cash to spare… or to be more precise, no cash I was willing to part with that day.

So… my moment was spoiled because even as I refused to give, I felt a twinge of guilt for not helping out – yet in retrospect, are these people really needy? Why not approach the parish for help instead of just ambushing it’s parishioners for alms? Could this be just my cynical side thinking too much? Maybe. Needless to say, the idyllic peace and quiet was tarnished by these incidents.

As I entered, I went to various locations of the church – trying to find both a place of quiet and some cool wind to keep things comfortable; and this was when the third difference sunk in… during my last visit, it was in a window of calm after a storm, with the weather still being overcast with rain clouds. That meant that the church was cooler then - as it was slightly hot now, I could not really find that peaceful interlude… besides, the church’s many doors were still open likewise letting the traffic’s cacophony intrude the quiet stillness now present in the church.

Had I decided to stay a little longer… maybe 30 minutes more, I would guess that the noise would lessen – but the temperature would not be as comfortable as before… and unlike before, I had work to go to that evening, so I was avoiding any activities (or non-activities) where I would perspire… so I simply decided to leave.

That experience made me realize how lucky I was that previous time… how the weather, time and general spontaneity of it all contributed to the idyllic moment I experienced the last time. Will such be repeatable? Sure… it’s possible, but I would have to be in the vicinity, at a time I’ve nothing to do in the evening, at around 2pm – when the regular noontime parishioners would already be gone, when the economically challenged would have no reason to linger, and when the doors that help in keeping the cacophony that is just outside at bay are closed – oh yeah, and when the weather is that perfect coolness of almost – but not, raining.

How often will all these instances align themselves to achieve that idyllic environment again? Who knows? Not impossible, just almost improbable. Too bad… I really did enjoy the experience that last time. Oh well… guess that previous day was arranged for me to be there… and having just returned to see that the conditions of my previous visit were not the norm…but rather a uniquely perfect moment, I better appreciate the my previous visit and God’s hand in it. I mean, who else could make sure all those conditions would be repeated as is?