Memoirs Q22: Can you describe a moment of Profound Happiness you experienced?

Even with this 'Happy' focused question, I feel the need to pasue and think. When was I really happy. and why? There were times I remeber someting and think was I happy back then? Or did the memory of it make me feel happy now? For example, I remember when I was with friends and we were volunteers, guarding ballot boxes in Makati City Hall - the da beofer that, some goons tried stealing the ballot boxes, and even hust someone defending them. So back then things were so tense - not a cause to feel happy, But... while guarding the ballots in the dead of the night, I found myslef describing to a friend who had not collected comics for some time and was confused with what he read from my collection. So I gladly filled in the missing portions - explaing stories that happened, how characters changed, and in hindsight, as I remembered that night, I could honestly say that my knowledge of comics and the sharing of said knowledge in a meaningful and yes, despite the topic, a serisou discussion, helped keep us busy, awake and distracted from the worries of what might happen. How my sharing of m comics knowledge helped us continue ot be brave.How my being ac comic geek found a practical, and if I were even exagerate a bit, a heroic application to life. That makes me proud, and happy. It may be shallow... but how many people get to say that they defended democracy, and comics stock knowledge kept me brave, entertaining others while facing an unkown possibility of fear, yet still staying there anyway?

Other times, I felt such happiness in the middle of a family vacation, when I would look at where we were, how we were enjoing our time together as a family - the bliss of just relaxing. Sometimes this was through some introspection, like the time I stepped out our hotel room - into the balcony, hot cocoa in hand, Enjoying the blissful early morning, watching the sunlight chase the night away, and I just listening to the backgound noise of the birds waking and chirping. Knwong that my family was complete and peacefully asleep in the room. This time of introspection comes few and far between. Sure I probably checked my phone for some stuff.... but the overall cool, quient and peaceful mement was priceless.

Another? My 60th birthday, and the surprise I got upon arrving home - coming from John's house - not knowing this need for me to go out during a relaxed COVID moment, was it itslef a treat for me. But Driving home to a surprise set up with ballons, 80's dance music, and a greeting family. THe surprise, when I was just expecting amundane time to eat... that made me happy. Knowing that this little surprise was done because, my wife and kids loved me. I even danced around while coming into our home.

One profound happiness moment that happened was my last Birthday, it was a HOLA Toatmasters meeting, and i was not announcing it to anyone - not that it was a secret, mind you. Anyone that follwed my Social Media I 'm sure got a reminder about it. Anyway, in the middle of the informal program, everyone present started singing a Happy Birthday. If others did not know it yet - they surely did now. But that wasn't the clincher. One by one, in an impromptu manner, each Toastmaster started to share their thoughts and gratitude to me for being who I am as a leader, mentor, inspiration... t was definitley heartfelt, and I sorely wish I had te presence of imd to record that session. Alas, I did not - but the memory remains. This was probably the ifrst time I experienced colleagues sharing their gratitude with me, about me. It was touching and I had some watery eyes moments. Lucky I did not cry right there and then. That was something, indeed.

The latest was an unexpected sharing by Outgoing District Director Jot Chiongbian when he was thanking his Division Directors for their efforts in leading District 75. I, being the Division N Director, would be the last one he would omment on - most everyone had a one-liner, a moment of success done and accomplished. I expected a simple thank you, as my Division had not produced any exemplary moments. Instead I had a heatfelt sharing by Jot, of how I reminded him of his dad - even getting Pria to agree that he did indeed see similarities in how I acted, who I was, and most likely, the shared values I displayed. So this was not just a thank you for your service, but a thank you for reminding me of my dearly departed father, as well. Wow... that was different, unexpected and a bit embarasing sa it was shared with the whole District representatives listening in. I'm not hard to please, and I'm not demanding. Simple moments of peace and tranquility - ones I know are not your everyday moment, like walking in a field full of pine trees in weather pperfect temperature, or trying to capture the sunrise in various locations, abmiring the beautiful sunset colors, sharing timeless stories of role palying adventures with friends, a laughter and drinks... all these are snipets of happiness that I experience at random (which can be more meaningful), or possibly part of a planned experience. They can be unpredictable - but when they happen, they can feel like magic moments. I wish there would still be more, and I hope others experience similar profound happy moments.

Memoirs Q21: What role does Community play in your life?

When it comes to community, I interret this as more than just the neighborhood we live in. But I'll start wtih this one first. Our family transfered to Cavite last year. Prior to that, we stayed in Manila for nearly 30 years - specifically in Bacood. You could say that this was in the heart of Manila - with easy access to Makati, San Juan, Quezon City and Mandaluyong - we lived in the central parto fo the Metro. Of course, that meant we also experienced how dense the population was, how noisy the streets were, how you could literally see delivery vehicles race through the streets.

Aside from a select few people, we never interacted with our community. We were too busy with work, and the few socials we would attend. Our netwrork of friends were scatttered - and I had a handful of neighbors I was familar with. You could say we were wary of strangers who could rob us - Lord knows there were instances when a break-in happened. And you had to worry about torential rains bringing in flood waters all the way into the house. It was simply a tight communty in terms of population. It was also a frustration that the local politicians dug up an otherwise okay street to have drainage improvement porjects. Though the claim was for the improvement of everyone's convenience, these projects were anything but convenient. The city was alive with the noise of activities. I guess we just got used to accepting the bad with the convenient.

The kicker though was COVID. This was where we were literally cooped into staying in our appartment, and not going out - with exception to me to do Grocery and Drug Store runs. Mind you, we had internet, and it was a great factor knowing we were all present, safe and accounted for - but even that was not an assurance to not contacting the disesase by a casual discussion with neighbors. It was also frustrating that a lot of people did not care that they were spreading the disease by not following protocols - to the possible detriment of everyone else. The city's density was working against it.

So with that concern, plus the flooding factors, we decided to seek beyond Metro Manila for a place we could find - one more peaceful, safe, quiet. We ever searched as far as Laguna, and lucky for us, we found a place in Cavite that was suburban enough. THe place was quiet, you hardly saw neighbors hanging around the streets - most everyone would be waking early to get to work, and everyone else left were too busy tending to their domestic lives. This was a gated community - with controlled ingress and engress and security that matched some high class villages in the Metro - this meant there was a safety aspect. A clubhouse and administrators that collected mnothly dues for services, and a homeowner's associatoin that does not mind us too much, but keeps the streets clean, the neighborhood safe and orderly and can assist when needed. There's also a community pool and small parks - but we rarely bother with that. The best part? Not congested... hot humid because there is still a lot of free space and wind, it's quiet and peaceful - and the neighbors are polite, but we stick to our own. Last Christmas went by peacefully with few houses showing bright and noisy decors, New Year was a but noisy, but not for long, and the smoke did not linger. Lastly, I can walk my dog without too much worry for strays, and let's face it, a German Shepherd demands respect from other local dogs - size difference is a big factor.

Overall, after a year of living here, I'm glad. I do not miss the old haounts. The only minus factor is that it's far from the usual workplace, but not inaccessible. The long drives take just as long as the old 'stuck in traffic' frustrations, and at least the drive is continuous, so it isn't taxing. There are malls around, so we can enjoy dinner out, and a movie. Delivery riders reach our place, so it's not as if we're in Timbuktu - and we have internet access. so I' not wanting in entertainment and news.

Community feeds the psychie, it's something you live with, live around, and adjust when needed. It can strengthen you - or drain you. Give you peace of mind, or make you worry to an early grave. It can be healthy, or draining. In my case, our old haunts in Manila gave us convenience, but congestion. Cavite gives us freedom to breathe, it offers some tranquil moments, but allows conveniences to still be acccessible. It's not a far off retirement place like Tagaytay or even Sagada, but it has a good balance of everything else, We don't feel isolated - some palces may feel far, but if we really needed to, we have cars to allow us to drive there. Community can add to one's wellness and sanity, or slowly strip it away. Bacoor, Cavite is the former. I'm glad we transferred here.

Memoirs Q20: How has Technology changed the way you communicate and interact with others?

Hoo boym where to begin? I was born in the early '60s making me a Boomer. This means I went through Grade School and HIgh School in the 70s, College until the mid-80s. Started working early '90s, went through several crisis in our country - both political and economical. Lost regular employment in the early 2000s, went through consultancy mode ever since. So as you can see, lofe has been inconsistent.

But how about technology? Let me focus on specifics...

The phones. In my childhood, they were bulk, rotary dial types - all landlines, but there was not enough lines, so sometimes we had to share the phone lines with someone else - a total stranger. It was only later that we finally had enough lines for everyone. By this time, the rotary dials were relaced with touch buttons for numbers. Numeric keypads on our phones - no party lines to clog up the need to wait until tehy were done. At least that was an improvement.

Then in the 90s... cellular phones!!! They were bulky, but wireless - also a bit expensive to use, but it allowed us to communicate when needed - prior to that there were pagers, but you had to go through a service provider / operator and it was all texts - now you could call directly. Time went and the phones got smaller, slimmer and smarter.

Then Steve Jobs introduced, the iPhone, and Nokias and Blackberry slowly diappeared. I've been using an iPhone ever since - albeit not getting the latest version. I use it, but am not addicted to it. Now I don't just call, I can text, listen to music, connect to the internet, and send email, or check social media posts of friends from differnt parts of the globe. We're all interconnected now. So yeah, even sending letters have become passe - not when it's faster to shoot an email or send texts, or make a call. Donw side? The darn contaptions have too much thigns in them, and not everything is user freindly in a visible way - some capabilities are hidden within layers of menu items.


The camera - I came in during the digital camera's time. The manuals were too expensive, plus developing costs - and there was a delayed gratification when seeing the pictures - if your picture was blurry, tough - the instamatic cameras of old also did not help alighn or center the subject - you just had to do trail and error. There was no focusing - unless you had the cameras with interchangeable lenses, and manual focus options. Nope... too much work, and trial and error - thus wasted opportunities, and at times, bad pictures.

But when the Digital Cameras came around, I saw the advantages at once. Instant gratification - the picture was a file you coud see... don't like it? Take another while you're still around. No blind developing and paying for even bad pictures. Don't like them, delete - try again. Later there even apps that alowed you to do post editing of pictures? Too dark, add brightness or lighten the picture. Color a bit off? Adjust it. Don't like pesky backgrounds, crop what isn't important.

But if you wnat to go beyond just instamatic, you can get a DSLR, and have the same capability of lens changeing, experineting with black and while is possible now. But lugging all the needed equipment like the camera, tripod, lenses - they can be heavy too. Now, they have mirrorless cameras, and suddenly you can have models that are a third of the old one's size. Others can also take videos - so you don't need a separate videocam. While at it, consdier that your phone can do most of what the photographer does with their DSLR. So the entrace to Digital Photography, or Videography is now w lot easier, and cheaper.

Music and Movies. Back in the day, want music? buy a vinyl - either a 33 (long player album - complete with dust jackets), or the 45s (smaller recors, usually containing a sinlge song. Of coure when it gets scratched, you'll hear some popcorn, or you player's needle will just jump over the scratch with a terrible noise. Movies were just in cinemas. Then the digital storage of data was possbile, we now used CDs, music at first was reorded and stored in tapes, be they the betamax or the VHS. Later still, Laser Disks were made - promising video and audio quality. I hated those need to switch storege types. I have movies or enve TV shows discs that I can't play anymore because the use of DVD options have been replaced.

You now have USB storage capacities large enough to store not just one, but several movies. Then we have streaming services - for a membership fee, you now have access to countless movie titles, TV shos, Musicals, Foreign (Korean, Japanese, Chinese) media - that is, aside form the English, British, Filipino titles. Music is also digital, so you can have access to a multitude of genre, TV series with multiple seasons. Books can now have their own digital copies - and your pad can carry a multitude of titles.


Games? We started with board games. Then they became crude computer games that had poor pixelization - doesn't mean that they weren't fun. Liesure Suit Larry, Prince of Persia, gave me hours of fun. Before that, we even had palm sized games - called Game and Watch. These were a lot more advanced and interactive than the old Monoploy, Clue or Game of Life. Risk and Battleship were fun as well. Of course, the PC games got better.

Then there was the multi player shoot em up options - so you needed a network of comptures to play. The Classic Starcraft was used to test run our Classroom Network set-up, I mean if it can withstand multiple players it could easily handle a class fileld with students studying Excel. So yes, I allowed the gaming in the school's classrooms because there was a practical reason for it. Just like we had those kinds of games in the ADB, when we had no training (during our off days). I personally enjoyed X-wing. So playing during off hours had it's precedence.

Of course, the table tops did not totally disappear - and the TSR dice games were a classic example. We used tokens or small figures, maps to rpresent adventure movement, had pre-made adventure by Gary Gygax and company, and this allowe duo forma a party quite similar to the characters in fantasy novels (yes, most of us were Tolkien fans). Now? With Internet, you can form a party from players aroudn the world - you just had to be in the same timezone, or some of you had to be nightowls. I' guess I'm too old for those games that will demand a lot of time investment between ou and others. i just use my phone to play soduko.


Meetings have changed - in fact were were forced to change because of the worldwide pandemic. Before that, we needed board rooms to have a meeting, you needed to use facilitation tools to get people's ideas and build consensus. Then with the internet, virtual session could now be used. COVID forced us to use online as the rule, rather than the exception. It became a point where we now prefer these virtual meetings as tools for people in different parts of the city - or the world. They're real time, and one needs only worry about poor Internet connections that will make you lag. But a lot of us like this, rather than facing hours of traffic.

In a funny way, this made people focus on buying tops and not much on clothes below the waist because others won't see your bottom clothes anyway. But there you have it... even a large conference can happen virtually - an impossibility, one would have thought just several years ago. So... should we thank the pandemic for this?


Lastly, at least for me. Online shopping - sure, I still go to malls and stores - but I probably buy a lot of things (liek clothes) online - used to be I had to hunt for clothes - more so, those of my size. Department stores seemingly just make it an afterthought to stock up on my size options - unless they have a plus-sized stall. Not to forget the time to travel, heat, traffic or exptreme rainfall. All add to the hassle of brick and mortar shopping. Nope... nowadays there are at least four online store platforms I can check for any kind of product. No wait period when buing online books. I can now buy shirts, and business attire - even a few fashionable coats, shirt, and accessories.

Because of this, I've updated my wardrobe - something I also needed to do during my year as a Division Director. Just this morning, I ordered dog food. I expect delivery by tomorrow, or a day later. Online payment also made this easier to do. No need to carry cash around, just your ATM card, or your phone.

Memoirs Q19: Who are the Most Important people in your life today, and why?

Hands down, I will always say my partner in life - Barbie, is th most importnat person in my life. She is my rock, my conscience, my constant reminder of things I forget or lapse - she makes me be a better person than I would not have been.

Next would hae to be my two kids. Bryce and Bernice, and I hope that Barbie and I raised them well enough that they can live life possibly without us. Maybe not yet... but when the time for tehm to be totally indepnedent arises, they can live properly, with a strong internal compass, and a good enough set of brains and street smarts to survive what life has in store for them.

I have treid to instill in them some skillsets taht the can find useful by joining Toastmasters. But they are in charge of their career choices. I guided and helped them when asked, but I definitely did to them what my parents did not for me. I guess it helped that ours in not a broken family. Thank God for that.

After these three, I would start putting my friends John, Fred and Gerry - knowing that these three will help my family in case I cannot be around to do so. My sisters, Tizza and Bing bing - after all, they are still family - but we are far form each other, and I just visit them once in a while. From there, I still ahve some relatively loose set of friends, a lot of them from Toastmasters - not people I will approach for help, but people who might help one way or another. I would put Boyet, Tony, Dave here.

Only after these people do I put my dad in the mix. Not because I'm estranged with him - more like I know he's got his own set of life challenges with his otehr family. I tried being close with them - but lately, I felt the distance they'd rather have with me and my sisters. Sure, among us three, I might be the most welcome there - but at times, not so much either. Similarly, I feel a bit of distance with my dad's side of the family. I was not invited to reunions, and I don't want to push it.

So it can be a bit ironic that blood isn't thicker than water - with exception to my family (Barbie and the kids). Then again, this could be because of how my mom kept us separated from them. Hence I was not that close with my cousins. Sad, really. But that's life. You can't rely on anyone but immediate family. And a handful of real clse friends. The rest are just acquaintances.

Memoirs Q18: How do you Manage Stress and Maintain Balance in your life?

Back in the day, when I was Training Head of the Institute of Advanced Computer Technology, I would go through many iterations of training my instructors. It wasn't because I was losing them to the competition - rather they were being tapped to teach in St. Charles, Illinios. Becoming faculty to the school for Andersen Consulting - later Accenture. Natrually, they would jump to the opportunity to go to the U.S. earn in Dollars, and be part of a highly technical school training future Consultants. Simply put, it was a more positive, challenging and addictive enough that those that experienced the school alwasy wanted to go back. One wat to go back was to quit, wait for 6 months, then apply directly to St. Charles. Returning to I/ACT was not something they wanted.

Unfortunately, this seeming one-sided situation alwasy put me in the need to hire and train people - only to see them go when they were good at training already. I did not even have control with saying it couldn't be done because that project was raking in the dollars. What was worse, the other department was being recognized for the profits while mine was always affected. Sure I got to get thigns done - but I never got to experience any technology or knowledge transfer from the people who came back.

So how did I destress? For starters, I did listen to music - at times, loud enough to lose myself to the music. I read comics, or books. At times, I would go out with my office mates, but not much. By then, I was already married, so I had to get home to my wife... and later still, to my family. So enjoying the moments with the kids was a destresser of sorts. We would do a weekend staycation - enjoy the pool or simply stay in teh airconditioned room and order food.

I also had, on occasion, been part of a gaming group - the Society of Anachronists Gamers and Adventurers. We were role palying Dungeons and Dragons... unfortunately, I was unable to stay until the early hours of the morning like what otehrs did to continue the adventures. So it was also a bit frustrating. I would have some drinking sessions with my friends - mostly drinking at home.

Later, I would add caring for tropical fishes via an aquarium. This allwed me to aquascape and populate the aquarium with fishes that I would love to watch when I got home. Seeing the fishes and mini shrimps move around in a planted environment was cathartic. It wa also a form of pride that my aquariums were great to look at. I really should get back tosetting one up some time soon. We had to bring it to my brotehr-in-law's place, for lack of a place to put them in our current place.

Of course, now i don't have too mcuh pressure or stress at work these days. Going into a domestic routine that being retired does. Oh yeah, before I forget... having a dog was also a good way to destress. There was alway a nice aspect of having someone lovingly gret you when you got home. I had that when we were in Cubao, and I have one now as well.

Memoirs Q17: What are some of the Key Lessons you've learned from your Failures?

I will, once again, need to think on this one.

First of... I needed to think of a failure in life. For this, I had to go back to College. First, I had failed Accounting, not once... not twice, but thrice. The third time was the most frustrating because I did not reach teh cut off by two points. Why did this happen? I'll just have to chalk it up with disinterest on the subject. Commerce was not a choice I wanted in College. Probably because I did not find an interest in business back then. But my dad and grandfather did not want me to opt for Medicine, so there I was... in a course I was unsure of... taking a subject that was all about records-keeping. I was uninterested - yet this wa a major subject I needed to pass. I eventually did, but how did I do it? I beat the system - and learned to cheat. That's right... if trying to learn things did not work, I needed some code which I learned to slightly write in between the worksheet's lines using a light pencil - so small it was almost invisible.

Was I proud of this? Fuck yeah... I flunked College the first time because of accumulated failure units - and Accounting was basically a strong reason why it happened. So if you can't learn it... find a way around it. Sometimes, finding cheat codes makes for a better answer than being honest. That was one lesson. I learened how to be street smart.

Another failure I had happened early in my team lead days - I thought one style would work for all. This was before I learned about Situational Leadership - and by the time I read and learned about it, I laready had practical experience on what does not work. I just did not know why. And for a while, I thought I was a lousy leader. Not true... I just did not know how to lead for any situation. Now i know - different folks, different strokes - thogoh in this case, strokes is about Leadership styles. I may have learned about this a bit late to help myself and others prevent frustration. Not anymore. Now I teach leadership because I don't want others to go through the leadership trap thatis a one style fits all technique. You don't ram a square peg into a round hole.

Lessons? Be true to yourself - it can spare you from a lot of frustration. Come prepared, make your needed cheat codes. People are people - they have different personalities, different inspirations, different expectations and maybe even different learning styles. Yes, I can read financial documents - but don't make me make them. I eventually graduated witha course on Finance - not Accounting. I alwasy say the accountatn would painstakingly do checks and balances and will make sure every penny is accountted for. The fiannce guy will thing all those hours will be a waste of time, effort and resources - and will take out the penny from his pocket and say, there... now it's balanced. I preffer practical over correct.

Memoirs Q16: What Hobbies or Interests have you pursued that bring you joy?

For a long time, since Grade School, my answer would be collecting comic books - specifically the Marvel Comics group. I can trace my early interest back to my Grandmother, bringing home comics, and there would be a pile on the bedside for her, and her partner, to read (her husband died during the war). One fo the early memories I have was Captain America struggling against the Fourth Sleeper - he was so outclassed, yet he persevered.

I recognized Cap and other heroes because of the classic marvel cartoons - the one where they literally get a panel from the comics then move parts of it for action movement, while adding action sound effect ballons. This started my love for Marvel comics. Of course, I also got introduced to groups like the Fantastic Four, Avengers (of whom I knew several characters like Captain America, Iron Man and Thor), and the X-men.

It was in the middle of High School when they introduced the All New, All Different X-men - and I really used this as a starting point to collect a title continuously. The FF and Avengers were great - but I could not just start them because the issue numbers were too large - too many back issues that I could not find. In that same regard, I collected the Defenders. When John Buscema returned to the Avengers, I used that as a jump on point as well.

I would naturally copy, and learn to draw, some artists - chief being Neal Adams - loved his X-men, his Kree-Skrull Was (Avengers), and across the Distinguished Competition, Batman / Detective Comics. I also liked Jim Starlin, George Perez, John Buscema, Jim Aparo, Dick Giordano, Terry Austin, John Byrne, Jack Kirby (though more his older stuff), John Romita Sr. I can talk about comics for hours. Yes, I finally started collecting DC titles starting with Crisis on Infinite Earths (and boy was I confused with so many characters), I also strted collecting Teen Titans by Marv Wolfman and George Perez. Those were masterful stories. The Judas Contract has to be one of the best slow burn stories ever.

I have a small sense of pride seeing people now recognizing the cahracters and stories I grew up with - though I would be utterly disapointed when the stories do not follow the characters - which is why to this date, I have not watched the 3rd Fantastic Four movie (what were they thinking of?), but will highly reccomend Fantastic Four First Steps.

Another passion, if you can call it that, is music - yes, I got into the Disco era by knowing the music - I could say I had a sens for great music... not just dance music but Folk Rock and Country. I collected records, as I wanted to be in charge of the party's music. Since we had casssettes, I would create a cassete full of dance or slow music. Then when I place the cassete in, I would rush to the woman I would like to dance with and ask her for the dance even before the music started. Call it a sort of insider information. Hey, I would have to come all the way from behind the DJ's booth, so I needed the early knowledge. I was active with my love for music from late High School to Early College.

Another passion - something I always wanted to try, but did not have the finds to pursue back then was Photography. It was later, when Digital Cameras started becoming cheaper, that I jumped into finally try my hand with photography. I went in deep - but not as deep as I would have wanted. Still, to help practice and get myself into the groove, I set up a Project 365 blog. This tacked blogging and photography - two interests in one. I tried Black and White photography, colored. My one frustration - one I'll hopefully get to try some day are photography with models - hopefully nudes. But even if not, I would like to practice with models - and not have to force my family to pose, or take stolen shots. As it is, I take pictures of my pets... at least they don't complain.

One more passion would be reading - I am an avid reader, though nowadays I seem to gravitate more to ebooks and audio books. Call it a need for space. I have plastic boxes filled with books I can't display, but if and when they're up - I would love to hang around my books. I love Fantasy, Science Fiction, some Self-help books. I even had a complete collection of the hardbound Hardy Boys - until termites got to them. Ah well...

Is there anything else? Well... one more... Role Playing Games. Dungeouns and Dragons with friends. But I was known for running the TSR Marvel game - of course. I used my deep knowledge of the characters to help enrich the games.

Is there any connection to them all? I'm sure there is. But I will have to think on it.

Memoirs Q15: How do you celebrate Milestones in Your Life.

Most milestones are celebrated either in a Hotel Buffet, or we privately order a ton of food and we just celebrate privately as a family. In my 60th birthday; which happened during COVID times, we just ordered food, and Barbie had baloons set up against the wall - she asked me to go to John's place and he kept me busy while they were setting up. So when I got home, I was surprised by the backdrop, and welcome.

Ten years ago, we just went to the lobby of Manila Peninsula to just have a simple meal - then the orchestra played Happy Birthday.

Now, in the family, after my birthdaym Bernice's birthday comes two weeks later... so we do the same thing. Either buy food and celebrate at home, or we go to try a Hotel Buffet. Inviting her friends to said buffet. Of course, on her debut, when asked if she wanted a celebration or a Japan trip, she chose the latter - so we went as a family.

By the ned of May, it's Bryce's celebration, and a week after is Barbie's birthday. So we do the same thing all over again. Our next mielstone? June for our wedding anniversary, and July for our other anniversary (when we became officially a couple). Those are our typical milestones celebrated yearly, with a slightly higher milestone celebration. Other than that, we always celebreate Christmas, New Year, Chinese New Year - and at certain times, we would also celebrate with her family, and mine.

I don't expect. nor demand more than this. After all, it is always best to celebreate milestones with loved ones - and for me, my immediate family is my circle of loves ones.

Memoirs Q14: What role has Travel played in your Personal Development?

International Travel has always been an adventure. My very first one was in the late 70s to Malaysia, when I visited my dad. From meeting corrupt ground crew (and being victimized of a few dollars), to admiring how the Malaysian city had a very separate bike/motorcycle lane that looked a lot safer and better planned. I did not stay too long to enjoy the place, nor learn it's culture. I also got to learn more of my dad - more than the usual Sunday visits allowed. It gave me the chance to expand my horizon and see how cloistered I was.

Next was Tanzania, and boy was that an adventure. I'm used to the fact that my currency was lesser than others, so to land in a country that was less developed and with a currency less valuable than ours was an experience. Since this was an SGV project, it meant I also got SGV staff allowances. Good thing too - Dar Es Salaam may have reminded me of the Philippines in the 60's - it's lack of a steel industry amde me witness how construction of multi leveled buldings were being done - mostly by bamboo poles.

I also learned a few Swalhili words, and even went on a Safari.

My next trip was while working in I/ACT - two actually. First was Las Vegas, and attended a computer convention. Learnings? While it was just me and two other companions - my boss and a colleague who was brought along for his technical knowledge? Me? More for training purposed. But I marveled at the convention's size. I also marveled at Las Vegas - we were part of a contingent and I was not too keen to get to know anyone else. I was too engrosed with what I was seeing. There were some dissapointments, though. For one, I expected to hear what was new in the music scene. Unfortunately, I came in at the time when retro was in full swing. So listening to the airwaves and getting a doze of 70's songs like Funky Town was surreal. It was like the Tilight Zone. I guess the fact that we were billeted in Circus Circus did not help remove the retro vibe.

Second was in Singapore - to attend a talk. Problem was, it was my first experience with Singlish and the different tone. So I was being distracted with the pronunciation of the speaker to appreciate the talk. What a waste - oh well, at least there was the Night Safari where ironically I saw more lions than in the Mikumi park back in Tanzania. I also learned that Barbie's body grew real fast (being pregnant with Bryce) and that few days travel showed a very distinct change to her bulge - she seemed very very pregnant. I guess you don't see such change when you witness it on a daily basis.

From there, it was a long haiatus for travel - my next trip was a family vacation to Hong Kong, courtesy of Barbie. This time, it was a great experince to bring the kids to Disneyland, and I smiled and even teared up with my first experience with a real 3D movie. But I likes the overall experince - and watching the kids enjoy as well was the icing on the cake.

Succeeding travels were Japan, South Korea, Taiwan. All family vacations. All exciting and wonderful as far as experiences went. Suprisingly, we all thought that a return trio to Japan would be a good idea at a future time. A Taiwan return trip would be great too.

Enriching? Most definitely. Better for it. And the experiences enriched my memories. I'm not even including my domestic travels.

Memoirs Q13: Can you recall the time when you took a Significant Risk? What was the outcome?

I'm normally a stay safe kinda guy. Not that I'm risk-averse, more that I am a realist in looking at what I can try to get away with vs. what I can lose. I also try to make sure any potential stupidity on my end will not adversely affect those I hold near and dear (i.e. my family).

But there were probably a hadnful of times I just threw caution to the wind, thinking 'to hell with it' and worried about how I'll fix things later. One that comes to mind was the work I was doing before I went ot my Asian Development Bank days. I was working for an insurance company, and reporting to the boss. My role? computer programmer - later, IT guy.

Thing is, aside from being the IT guy, I was dragged around and introduced to the Junior Chambers. But this was not for my benefit, but for his numbers game. He did not really think of others, nor was he thinking of being a volunteer - nope, he was more concerned with getting richer, and having the prestige to get more. He was manipulative, and got people to work for him - preferably 'yes' men.

Thing is, I'm not that kind of guy. I questioned his motives internally - until I started becoming less 'yes' oriented and more, 'I'll do what I think is right', or 'what is morally right' technique. So naturally, I started drifting farther from the tight circle of trust. It simply came to a point that I just called it wuits. Did not bother to return to work, and ditched the job.

I just abandoned the work. No resignation letter. I just could not take more of working for the guy.

Lucky for me, I found the ADB work fast, and decided to go for it.

Why was this risky? Abandonment? That could have been the action taken against me - but I did not care. I guess I wasn't worth the effort. I think he also knew that I knew a lot, and did not weigh the pros vs. cons. I just made sure our orbits never crossed. When the tpoic was about him, I just kept quiet, and listened with disinterest. If it was a critique of his leadership, I would just nod sagely. But boy, did his successes seem misalligned with what I read about leadership. Then again, there can be so many suckers - specially if they don't know him.

How did this turn out? My work in ADB was lightyears better for my psychie. I became happier, and more productive. So definitely, it was worht the risk. How did this turn out>

Memoirs Q12: How have friendships impacted your Life Journey?

I would have to say that friends are the support group one has in life. In my different times, I have had different groups of friends that made life feel much better. For starters, in Grade School, recess and lunch breaks were somethigns to look forward to because it allowed me to stay with friends and either discuss hobies and interests, or play games - Vampire tag was one of them. The whole quadrangle was our turf, as we were tasked to run away from the 'vampires', the 'it' person (or people) who needed to walk around with their shirt collars turned up, so we can see the vampires from afar - and run like hell. The game ends when the bell rings, and everyone goes back to class - albeit, sweaty from all the running we did.

As we got older, and got shuffled into different classes, we met other friends - High School combined the students of Taft with Greenhills - in Greenhills, so it was a new experience meeting others. By this time my main interests and hobies were comic books, and naturally, I gravitated to one or two freinds with the same interest. But through this I also met new friends - mostly from familial connections. It wasn't easy tranferring home and uprooting your life and friends, but that is what happened when we transferred from Life Homes, where I had a group fo friends, to Cubao - oh well, at least I still had my school friends - this time, the ones I met in College.

It was also by this time I got involved with Gaming... specifically, TSR's Marvel game, and through it, later on, Dungeons and Dragons. I helped form the loose gaming group called SAGA (Society of ANachronosts, Gamers and Adventurers) composed of gamers from La Salle, Ateneo and UP. This was our first chance of learning and sharing with each other - oh yeah, and we weren't just from those three schools either. Just majority of us came from there, but we had great friends who came from St. John's as well. We would meet and play in San Juan.

Some of these guys became close like brothers (and sisters), we invited each other to our weddings, celebrated familial milestones, some even became my kids; God Parents.

Funny thing is, some friends - due to life taking us in different ways, disappear, and reappear - others are, unfortunately, living abroad, and I wonder if we will ever see them again - unless they visit the Philippines or if I go to their place.

Now I meet new friends in Toastmasters - sharing the love for public speaking, leadership, learning, mentoring, and helping the organization - via District 75, enrich other's lives.

So how do Frienships impact my life? I would say that friends adds a lot of colors to an otherwise mundane existence. It is the stuff that brings memories that we go back to reminisce about things - be they funny, sad, inspiring... and I love each and every memory I have had with friends - and pplan to continue to do so. in years to come.

Memoirs Q11: How do you Define Success, and how has that definition evolved over time?

In different times of my life, I would say success has been attached to things I desired to get or achieve. For a long time, at a younger age and point in my career, it was achieving success at work. Early on, that would mean learning what I needed to learn and be able to use / train others to use these. A programming language, a program I create shifted to being able to share this knowledge to others and make them empowered with using the new learnings.

An example would be to teach others the advantages of dBase III+ dot commands, as opposed to just relying on basic Lotus 123. I showed my students back then that dB3 was more flexible with the use of data, specially with the sorting and filtering of data for reports. Yes, yes... that comes across as too shallow nowadays - specially with the visual basic aspects embeded into Excel these days, thus allowing pivot tables... but back then, this was the equivalent knowledge level in a pre-windows world.

Another measure of success - one thrust upon us as a training team, was the satisfaction survey of the perticipants / customers, giving a score range form 1 (the worst, or poor), to 5 (the best, highly satisfied). So I strove to get high scores... if not fives. My pride drove me... I needed to prove this to myself, and show it to others. This made me look and be accepted as a great facilitator - maybe not the best, but definitely one of the best.

Evantually, I got tired of getting the high marks - it seemed superflous, and I shifted my focus for success in being able to ensure I could lead the team, do proper knowledge transter - if not from me, then from others in the team. I needed to make everyone better at being skilled to teach differing topics. My aim was redundency - should someone call in sick, I would hope that someone else can jump in on short notice and take the absent person's place and continue the lessons from there. So you could say, my focus and measure of success - at least for me, was to be a better leader, supervisor, mentor to my team.

I already shared my experience in Tanzania - I would have to point out that my stint in the Asian Development Bank, exposing me to different nationalities and cultures, helped me tackle diverse audiences. Ironically, it was not to ignore the differences - but learn about them, and find similarities. Or share knowledge of how these differences,make me get to know each individual even better.

So my view of success changed based on what I deemed as important to get the job done.

However, when I got married, and barbie and I started raising Bryce and Bernice, my priorities and measure for success, likewise shofted once again. This time, it was to be a good provider, a good husband and a good parent. I opted to be a good example to my kids.I needed to be a batter partner to Barbie - to prove we could be a loving family. I was painfully awar of the difficulties I went through as a child in a broken family, so I used staying together as a family, and making things work, as a measure of success. To date I still work with making the family stay together, and I may have been lacking in some things, but I compensate in other means.

As a Toastmaster, I've had some metrics to follow as well, and though I may not be able to achieve everything I wanted, I still focused on some intangibles. I made HOLA shine, and I made Division N feel more solid as a community.

Now? My measureof success is to make things better, to anake people better - to coach, mentor , lead, work side-by-side with. I need not go after millions - and I would think twice about that if it would sacrifice my family's wholeness or happiness, or my personal integrity as a civic leader.

So yeah, now success is about building a better world, one step (or action) at a time. Build a legacy - but cotinue learning, improving, and caring, sharing, celebrating life when I can - though responsibly. As much as possible. I want to enjoy life within my means. Accept what I have, and challenge myself with what I can change.Stay humble, stay simple, stay grounded - follow my true north, and live life the way it should be dome - peaacefully. happily, responsibly.

Memoirs Q10: What have been the Most Rewarding Experiences in your Career?

I had to pause and think about this. For starters, I neede tothnk about what rewarding is about. It couls be possible that my definition of reward wold have been different as the decades came and went. Thus my concept of what was rewarding - in hindsight, may prove difficuly to discern. Career may also mean things outsidfe from just work. This really made me think - and to this day, as I tyle this out, I am still wondering what highlights I might have, that would define 'rewarding' and experience.

I could surmise that it had to deal with overcoming a challenge - to prove myself to otehrs (and myself as well). So what can I place in that category? I could say my trip to Tanzania. It was a challenge to go there and teach sometihng I was not too familair with - I mean, I knew Systems Analysis - but it was not something I taught rgularly bavk then. But teach it I did - with Nelda (my training partner taking teh major modules of Analysis and Design, while I took the rest. I covered Infl Planning, Data Analysis, Ststem Security, and Relational Databases, among others - all in a span of three weeks. When Helda talked, I assisted - specially in the exercises protion of the workshop.

Through sheer grit, some hutspah and tapping into real life knowledge, I got to complete the training. Nelda left a week earlier when her workshops were done, and I stayed on. I was married with Barbie on her last trimerster - but I knew I had a lot more time to spare before her giving birth to Bryce. We even had a long distance conversation - and boy, did we pay for that.

In the end, though, I was able to save up a bit, and got Barbie the watch she wanted - actually, I gifted her with the higher version. Somethign I was able to buy in Dubai Duty Free. So there was a little monetary reward. That was a nice time. I successfully completed an assignment. Proved myself to my boss, and in the process showed people that I was a highly competent and dependable instructor for I/ACT/

Second most rewarding experience would be my capability of handling my team - two different teams, two different times, two different companies. Why do I emphasize this? Oh nothing... just the fact taht I was able tomake them highly productive and close - a team that woulc collaborte with each other, help each other out, and I'd like to think that I was ale to do this with a good enoug Business model (Situational Leadership), and even whe I was not the lead on a third comapny, I still found people gravitating to me because I knew how things were run in training sessions.

hree... my ability to absoerb and teach new stuff - be the technical or people skills related. Something I still can do. This makes me confident about accepting assignments that are training-related.

Lastly? Maybe my Hall of Learners Advanced Toastmasters experience - oth as VP or President. This was a great team of individuals - leaders or influences all. When you are surrounded with highly capable, positive and eager to help indivisuals, leading becomes a breeze. Not to say it was alsways easy, but it was great to see people work and collaborate. This is the kind of team I wouldn't mind leading any timr.

Memoirs Q9: Can you share a Significant Challenge you faced, and how you overcame it?

I can share two - both work related. Both while I was with I/ACT (the Institute of Advanced Computer Technology). These happend sometime early to mid-Nineties. The first one was when I was assigned to teach in the Asian Development Bank (ADB) as part of the Computer Training group. My boss approached me one day to ask if I still know my Systems Analysis training from my I/ACT days as a student. I said vaguely... but I could refresh myself. She said I could sit in some night courses to refresh myself in Makati. Reason, she wa thinking of sending me as part of a two-person team to teach staff from the National Bank of Commerce, in Tanzania.

Apparently, I was noticed when I volunteered to teach weekend classes aside form my ADB assignment. This showed initiative, which she liked. Hence sshe thought of me for this project. I would be flying to Tanzania and stay for about a month. Both to teach and assist in the courses. I asked if there was a training manual I could use, and without batting an eyelash, she said yes. I would have to bring the manuals and transparencies (those acetates can really be heavy).

The challenge was that when I was already in Tanzania - at Dar Es Salaaam, I realized that he manuals were less helpful than I jhoped for. I ended up studying at roughly 1am, after a few hours of sleep, and thinking, wondering, connecting what I read, with what I knew about businesses, and the IT world. At times, I was just a day ahead of my students. Boy, was that challenging. To make matters worse, telecommuncation from Dar Es Salaam to Manila was not that efficient, and it was exxpensive too. So I couldn't ask for help for people back home to help explain cetain concepts to me.

Bottom line, I was able to conenct things in a practical way, and this was how I presented the ideas to my students. I didn't know it yet, but I apparently was using a prefered manner for knowledge transfer by connecting the ideas to practical applications. So, yey me!

Challenge number two.

The comapny underwent new management, and I stayed on to help the new managers run the business side of Training. I was now the boss in the first scenario. Unfortunately, there woudl be some decisions by the owners that would not be easy to sell. One particular case was with our Hardware training line up of business. This was a series of three classes - one week each. Highly technical. It was also run by a part-timer, J H. I hide the identity to keep this person safe, but I'm sure people working back then with me, will know who it is I'm reffering to.

The prblem started when managment decided on a price increase - naturally, the students taking up the first module saw the price increase and complained. Unfortunately, Jun did not help placate them, and even sided with them. Though they had valid reasons, Jun's style fanned the flames of anger and frustration of the class - then turned the problem to Marketing, who could not control the angry class. So they asked my help.

I already saw that this was a situation mishandled by the instructor, and Marketing was not able to control. They simply had no say in the price increase. So my first act was to remind everyone in the room not to shoot the messenger. I listened to their concerns (liek i said, they were legitimate ones) and promised to raise the issues with the new owners. I left feeling frustrated, and sought the owner - explained the reasons, and asked they consider keeping the price back to it's original one for the current students - so long as they would continue to the next scheduled classes.

To me it was simple - keep the prices as it was and have a guaranteed two more weeks of classes, or possibly lose these two due ot disgruntled students. Luckily, Management agreed, and I went back to the class to give htem the good news. I received a room full of applause, and that sort of assuaged my stress earlier. So... great work, me. I listened to the customers, showed my concern, said I would talk on their behalf - though no promises were made. Then I got to present their concerns to Management, and got the exemption to the price increase for hte current class... no thanks to the instructor, who washed his hands form the problem.

Memoirs Q8: What was your first job, and what did you learn from it?

My first job was as a developer in EESSCOM - I forget the aronym, but it was a PC assembly company that sort of repackaged, painted, then sold the PCs. I was hired as part of the software developemnt team, but also became part of the after sales service team. Part of the package back then was for every PC sold, there would be a free training in some software. These were DOS, Wordstar, Harvard Graphics and maybe even Lotus 123... just enough to make the buyer able to use the PC they bought.

What did I learn? FOr starters, that the business wasn't totally honest with what they sold. THey had two lines of PCs - one more expensive thatn the other - but the inner workings were all the same? The difference? The other was a dark gray colored casing (all painted internally, of course), so what the customer was paying for was just paint for the more expensive line. I also learned the need to test the PCs after, by keeping them on overnight - complete with monitors looping certain displays - their version of a hardware stress test.

I learned that if you were not in sales, you were not important in tihs company. I even participated in a 'fixed' bidding for a province, wehre we were supposed to represent different companies bidding for a hardware sale to the province. i was given the task fo representing one company (we were all formone company though, and I believe the Governor knew this). Man... I didn't enjoy that.

Given the chance, I got out to seek better employment.

Memoirs Q7: Were there any pivotal moments in your life that altered your path?

I will need to reflect on this a bit. Will update when I think of such things.

Okay. It really depends on what we mean by pivotal moments here. A time when I had a bad moment that made me realize I should be better than this? Sure, it happened. When I was in Grade School I got away with shoplifting - it became easy for me - unitl I got caught. Boy was that a humiliating moment for me. If I could run away, I would have. Anyway, I stopped doing it because it wasn't worht the agravation to me and my parents.

Another pivotal moment? Let's see... I can't really say. Maybe I can recally bad moments. As for good moments, well... were they life altering? The forst time I held my son; Bryce, in my arms - I was present in the delivery room - I remember the doctors were even asking if I was feeling woozy. Maybe some husbands fainted in the middle of it all? I don't know. But I flet a life moment change - form that moment forth, I was officially a father... responsible for the life of a helpless child. I did not get the same feeling with my daughter; Bernice, though, because I wasn't allowed to enter - as Barbie wasn;t the only pregnant patient around that time.

Did I get other epiphanies along the way? Like the start of this entry, I'll just update it as I recall something really important.

Memoirs Q6: How did your Education shape your Worldview?

In Gradeschool,I went to La Salle Greenhills. How did this shape me? For starters, I grew up in a more often English speaking environment, so I became a fluent speaker - as the years went by, my vocabulary increased. We even had speech classes, and a laboratory where we would record ourselves and listen and our teacher would comment or correct our pronunciation. Hence I need not worry about Grammar police when writing or speaking to others. My Education in this continues to be honed and sharpened by my joining and being active in Toastmasters.

In High School, I took my status as a La Salle student for granted. I did not see why others saw it as an asset in society. Guess that was because I was exposed to the environment all the time - I've seen what was good, and bad, and how I did not put this matter on a pedestal as others seem to take it as. It really did not get me to win dates with the girls... though that was also because I was not in any position to use it.

In College, I experienced a different world. Suddenly we wer co-ed, and I had friends taking differnt courses. I was taking Commerce - with an initial focus on Marketing, but I was seemingly immersed in something alien to me. Marketing needed someone who could talk, sell, convince others to buy - that wasn't me. I was more an introvert. Later I switched to Finance. Better... though I really did not like worksheets, and journals, and just appreciated spreadsheets better because they allowed for quick computations. But really, I wasn't too keen on learning the ropes about business, and I just graduated out of sheer determination. But boy, did I feel like a fish out of water. So how did this shape me? I dunno... it was a confusing time in my life - lucky for me I had friends.

Beyond College, I took a comprehensive Computer course in the Institute of Advanced Computer Technology - this was where I learned computers, programming in BASIC, a but of COBOL (too clunky for me, and I did not finish it within the given timeframe) and Systems Analysis - which I loved. I absorbed the concepts, the PERT chart, the Critical Path, I liked planning, and problem solving. This, I could do. So yeah, I got technical.

In my rather first job, I was a programmer - but I was also introduced to the Junior Chambers, wehre I learned about leadership, and thinking of projects with zero budget - needing to source these. The club taught me politics - which I did not like, and gave me a chance to be a trainer, when I took the training for trainers program. This gave me the needed skillset that I would be using for decades.

So how did all these shape me? For starters, it helped me realize more about people skills - and in so doing, become less an introvert, and more an ambivert. It helped me communicate, understand and even teach. Because I had great comprehension of English, I enjoyed reading books from a varied of genre - SciFi, Fantasy, Adventure... not much on Horror or Love Stories. Epics... depends. I got to Finish Gone With The Wind, Frank Herbert's Dune saga (all six original books), Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, even soemthing seeming as technical as the Tom Clancy books. I have a small library and I continue to add to it - though slowly nowadays... prefering audio books these days, or digital copies. Space became a concern, so I even have some disassembled book shelves. Just waiting to find the proper location for them, and my books.

So... I'm a searcher for knowledge, a wanderer for advanture, but I am also tethered to reality, can understand fianncials, can understand computers and the IT industry, and have built my comunication skills. I can lead when the need arises, I have a conscience and heart. I value integity, because I know how fallible we can be. I know I can be flawed - but despite this, I strive to be better.

Memoirs Q5: What Values were most emphasized in your upbringing?

We weren't given values straight forward like. No posters, or kumbaya chantings, nor were there oaths uttered. Not really. So the values instilled were mostly learned through others' actions (or non-actions).

We start with Respect - of elders, of other people, of family. I guess that would have been ingrained. This later extended to realizing that respecting otehrs with what we say or do to them - hence the Golden Rule of 'Do unto others what you want done to you' - respect by calling people by their name (assuming we can rememebr their name - but even here, there is a matter of respect by trying to make the effort to remember their names. Nowadays, it is alos respect of otehrs' feelings, life choices, beliefs. Seeing others as people - as equals in society's eyes. Having an open mind about things, and others. Respect was ingrained in us early on - and it serves me well when I practice it on others in life.

Partnering this would be something that is likewise ingrained - though admitedly, something I at times forget to do. Responsibility, Knowing what you ar responsible for, and knowing how this may affect others if you do, or do not enact this practice.

Then there's valueing truth, or integrity. Being consistent with what you do, and say, and making sure that these are based on truthful knowledge. No pandering of falsehood. This doesn't mean I'm a saint... far from it. But when I am in front of others - what they see is what they get. No pretentions, no deceptions. If I were to foster trust in others, I need to show them that I am dependable, and truthful.

As a boy scout, we had these laws that we uphold. Turstowrthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent. These were the values we expect to follow - and I was in he scouting movement for the better part of my Grade School and High School. I'm surprise I remember them.

I also got some of my values from comics, books, and maybe even TV shows and movies. The concept of heroism - of doing good. Persevering. The Hardy Boys gave me a sense of advanture - a love for mystery and problem solving. It also exposed me to the concepts of friendships, family, and community.

I'm sure they could be others. But these were my early values - most of which I still practice to this day. They form my moral compass.

Memoirs Q4: What are some of your Most Cherished Childhood Traditions?

The automatic response here would be Christmas gatherings. We ould - back in the days, make sure we were together for Christmas. At the least, as a family. But since our family could not get together for Chirstmas, we'd spend the eve preparing for Christmas - even at times going to midnight mass, so when we got home in time for the midnight hour, we'd eat of our Chirstmas feast. This would usually have ham, fruit salad, possibly pasta, and ube halaya which I would have been responsible for making.

Then on Chirstmas day, it would a trip with my dad to our Lola's place, or a relative's where everyone else would be gathered together. to continue the Christmas celebration with my dad's side of the family.

But the nice thing about Christmas, which is why it was my favorite tradition, was the carols that would permeate the airwaves in radios and malls - okay, maybe not so much the malls - except for COD and it's displays. The setting up the tree, and at an early age, I wanted to help set it up, so my mom taught me how to fix the lights before they went up the tree. That was my role. So when the tree went up for all to admire, I could say I helped via making sure the lights were all working and blinking. Oh yeah, not forget the presents. As kids we looked forward to presents, and were either happy with what we got, or disappointed.

Because of all that, the other traditions could not hold a candle to Christmas.

Holy week, for example taught us about Christ's sufferings. But as a kid, a;; I rememebr were that TV and radios would go silent. We would have to fast from a meal - taking on just bread and water, if needed. Plus abstaining from meat- at least until Easter Sunday. Sunday would be celebrating again - sometimes with an egg hunt in the gardens, later... these eggs would be turned into chocolate eggs - as opposed to the hard boiled eggs (I mean, one can eat only so much hard boiled eggs - but chocolates? No such limits. And because things were kinda boring for a few days, Easter wasn't as fun to look forward to.

Oone tradition my dad instilled in me was the love for reading books - I would read a book about the Hardy Boys, and once this was finished, he'd offer to get me another one. I later transferred this to my kids... a trip to the bookstore at around payday, and they could choose any book in the bookstore for me to buy for them. In my dad's case, it was coincidental perhaps... in mine, it was deliberate as I wanted my kids to enjoy reading.

Memoirs Q3: Who had the most significant influence on your life during your formative years?

I'd have to go with my mom. She was the family's pillar She may not have been perfect - and I did share that she could be strict and inflexible... with a my way or the highway kid of mindset. Still she taught me all these things - either as a way to emulate - or vow not to do to others. Either way, I formed my moral compass by these terms.

I learned to be good to others. Not to take advantage of others. To respect others. To keep one's promise, or word. To have a sense of honor - and do unto others... yes, even a healty respect for Religion. But as I said, I also learned a few things like being diplomatic about things, specially when my dad asked about my mom, and my mom asekd about my dad. I knew that saying the wrong thing would fan flames - so i carefully crafted my messages.

Mom also caried her sense of honor too high at times. She owuld quit a job when slighted - not bothering to fight back - thus losing out on others who wanted to ease her out. That would be a mistake, as her family suffered. I guess, she wasn't practical and when she decided... come hell of high water, she'd stick to it. I learned to be flexible and measure all the outcomes before making my final decision. I knew when ego needed to step back. When silence was golden, and what to do - and not do in times of conflict... mostly by dealing with my mom. So yeah, she was a great influence... but not in all the ways she might have wanted.