Memoir question revisited... What would I say to my younger self (given the chance)

This question got me thinking...

The kneejerk reaction would be telling my younger self to buy Apple, Amazon, Facebook sstocks... you know, hindsight considering which stocks would be of high value during my days - but maybe not yet, during my younger self... assuming there are stocks to buy, and he had the capacity to try and get some. Then again, it would be to 'try and get them as much as possible'.

However, gven what I reconsidered - had I a longer time to refelct on this (which I have, now). I would have to consider when I would be meeting my younger self - but should it be at, say, during my High School or even College days, what would I say? What indeed...

I feel that during this time, my greater challenges would have been going to school - delving in music as a hobby; though more of a consumer/DJ wanna be. I might mention that I sould have stuck to my guns in wanting Medicine, and not Commerce - something I had not interest in at all. Knowing what I do now... yes, the knowledge of doing business is useful - but no passion with, hence my struggling through College. Would I have been better in Medicine? Maybe - but that is a road untravelled, so I can't further talk about it.

This was another query I had about things... would my life have changed dramatically in that fork? Being in Med school... would I not meet Barbie? Hence not ahve Bryce and Bernice as part of my family? I certainly would not want to lose them. So should I suggest a different - more radical change?

Should I instead focus on a simpler, more personal challenge? Like how I was struggling (though not showing it) with the fact that we were a broken family? I have to say that there were days I wished I could talk to my dad about school work, but could not. Being raised by my mom... well, she did a good job with my and my sisters, but would I have turned out different with more of my dad's influence and life output? I would have suggested that life isn't as bad as it may seem... that any challenges I faced back then would be resolved - maybe not soon, and I would live to get through said challenges. I had resloved that a reconcilliation was impossible, hence I did not think of it. But I know I lost something with no presence from my dad back then.

I would probably suggest sticking with my friends - they were my support group. Have patience with my mom and her (often times) unfair treatments - not intentional, it was just how she looked at life. Telling him that eh would meet someone wonderful (Barbie), how he soold find time to visit Lola Nena more often, if possible. Also, make the best of a not so good thing with College. Focus on studying better - specially Accounting. Being less fancy-free with my friends, and possibly finish College at the regular timeframe, rather than the extended stay. Not make the mistake of withdrawing from Thesis. Ah well, those little things that could have given me more time to focus on other stuff.

I would have focused more on work, but still balance things with family. For example, I would still say no to St. Charles because it would keep me away from Barbie in her time being pregnant with Bryce. Will I change some other milestone? I don't know. After all, my knowledge, wisdom, experience... all these are accumulations of my life - mistakes and all. The hurts make me more sensitive... empathetic. So yeah...

No dramatic changes that may erase my life with loved-ones. Just suggestions and words of comfort that things do get better... just hang in there... Oh, and buy Apple, Amazon and Facebook.

My first talk in iBlooming's GIM

Last Wednesday was my first talk, and I focused on 'Do I mentor?" or "Do I Coach. The poster was for anyone intereseted, to register. It was a free Zoom session, wherein the host introduced me and after my talk, led the Question and Answer session by reading the queries given by my listeners/viewers. The talk lasted about 40 minutes - then the 'Q&A' was given about 15 minutes. Overall session lasted an hour from start to closing.

My audeince were from HK, Indonesia, Qatar, Malasia, Singapore. Mostly from GIM subscribers. The talk was recorded and can still be viewed by others through the GIM / iBlooming platform for $2 per view.

What I liked about the process... we had a technical check, sound check and presentation compatibility check one hour before the talk's sceheduled time. The tech team made sure I cane across as clear and audible. I did not have any videos as part of my talk - but had I any linked, or embeded, they would have cehck this as well. They obviously knew what they were doing, complete with the Emcee's script. Because of this, the talk went smoothly. Impressive indeed.

I even got a letter of gratitude comihg from them indicating what my talk shared, how it impacted my audience, and the messages shared by the participants in the Zoom chat. Again, not what I expected at all - but highly appreciated.

A New Direction for Minutiae Musings?

I recently linked up with iBlooming - an organzation that offers online education for many types of topics. Thir main pursose being to offer varying knowledge to their subsribers at a relatively affordable price of $2/month. It is hoped that through this, iBlooming gets to spread edication and knowledge in varying locations. For now they have set up in Indonesia and Malaysia - while they are also positioned in Hong Kong and Singapore.

Anyway, I was contacted online to consider joining their organization with hopes that I form part of the start to tap into the Philippine market. So there is that possible honor of beinf the irst of their Phipiine speakers. These will be more of a TED talk or YouTube type of consideration. I initially sent five short videos for their review, and just last Wednesday, did a love talk. Tonight, I'll be in a discussion with them via Zoom with what might come next. I don't mind starting slow - get a feel of how things go, beofe I start populating iBlooming with talks.

My focus will be on People Skills development, and I started with talking about the Difference between Coaching and Mentoring. I will then branch off into both topics to expond on what it takes to be a better Mentor, and Coach. My other topic will be on Project Management with a little emphasis on the people part of the team. It will revolve around leading and managing the team - form there I'll exptrapolate more on leadership vs. management. Both are essential in Project or Program or even Operations Management.

I called my channel Minutiae Musings (pickeing up form this blog's name), and who knows? What I talk about there can be further expounded on here, and vice versa. They will intersect, but not mirror each other.

That's it in a nutshell.

Memoirs exercise in hindsight

I initially went into this project with enthusiasm. I was both curious, and aprehensive with the idea - but curiosity won the day, and I thought it was a good idea to collate my thoughts by answering 50 questions. Along the way. I would discover some things about myself - and though I may have paid lip service to some questions, I answered them honestly nonetheless.

Would I have not sheared some ideas? The temptation was certainly there - but if I wanted to be honest about myself, I needed to answer them all with honesty. Did I circumvent truths? I don't think so... am I in denial regarding this? Maybe... I hope not, though. After all, if this is to really be a sort of fast talk documentation of my life, then I needed to be candid about things.

Do I consider answering thigns differently? Not really... if any, I would have wanted to expound on some answers - to go beyond short answers. I felt that some answers needed to be either clearer, or I may have answered some differently at a different date. Thus, I will probably review these questions and answers at a different year - see of my answers stay the same, or if I need to validate some answers, if not flat out change my answers entirely. So yeah... give these thoughts, I can only say the answers to all 50 questions may be dependent on what I felt when reading the questions for the first time. They may necessitate some editing given a second read at some future date.

Until then, these answers stand.

Memoirs Q50: How has your definition of Family changed over the years?

One would think this to be an obvious question. I mean my family has always been my wife (Barbie) and two kids (Bryce and Bernice). I would make sure that my everyday living focuses on how I can help them in any way possible. Specially since they are still working, and I am staying home.

By extension, of course, I would include my sisters and their family (Bing, Tizza, Patty, Migz, Eli). Likewise, Barbie's siblings and mom (Rose, Bart, Bernadette, Bea, Brian, Ben) plus their own families. I don't really included my dad because he has a family of his own, and I don't think I am fully welcome into that family. I know I am not a priority to them - so I likewise reciprocate the feeling.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, I would put Beowulf, our German Shepherd. At a lower rung, the cats Bluey and Bruno. Our pets are after all also family - sort of. Though Beowulf is moch closer to us that he cats.

Then I hae my close friends whom I would consider an extended family. Gerry, Fred are god parents to my kids for a reason. I'm sure they will help my family when needed. John is a friend I can count on to help me when I'm in a bind, though not as close as the first two. Then there's Tony, Boyet and Dave - more like College days freinds, whom I've shared some 'adventures' with back in the days.

Most these guys will be willing to help me an my family should the need arise. So yes, they are bothers.

Then there's my Toastmasters family. People I've worked with for some time now - people I can trust, and they can trust me as well. They're a wonderful bunch, and rarer than one thinks. For starters, most of my HOLA co-members - not all, mind you, but a good number of them. Some from other Divisions and Clubs.

That said, adding all these people to be my extended family proves you can indeed choose who to be family with.

I did it! 50 questions... compiling answers to various topics. Woohoo! Will I share this with others? Well... its not exactly typed out in a very private location. Anyone who does some internet detective seach can probably stumble upon this. I must say, though, having gone through this, someone can learn a lot about me... but not all of me.

Memoirs Q49: What impact do you hope your Life will have on Others?

To leave a LEGACY. This was one of Steve Covey's maid points when he asked people to create their Journey mission statements, and I tried the exercise. The entire statment can be seen here: My Journey Mission Statement

So what did it make me say about my Mission Statement? It may sound a bit dramatic... but for starters, I wish to -

"Explore what the universe has to offer as captain of a Starship:

I see my life as a journey… an exploration – meeting new people, experiencing different and new cultures, if at all possible. I would like to think that I can meet challenges and any need for change head-on, and I see myself like a legendary Starship Captain of Star Trek – with the roles of leader, peace keeper, and ambassador of goodwill.

I trust in what I can do, and the resources I can muster and keep the counsel of trusted and capable friends and family. I’m not afraid to make decisions that will affect my life – but I will tread a bit more carefully when it will involve the life of my family – for they should not suffer for possible mistakes I may stumble on.

As would a Starship captain – I would boldly go where no one has gone before… yet making sure that all moves are calculated properly, for the lives of a Captain’s crew and their family rests on his decisions and actions that he will take."

Next?

"Build a legacy for better understanding and tolerance:

I aspire to make the world a better place, by emphasizing on improving communication and espouse better understanding of others. These can be better practiced with tolerance of what does not meet one’s norm or expectations, and the understanding of others’ viewpoints – to better realize where they are coming from – in this regard, I follow Steven Covey’s statement – “Seek first to understand, then be understood”. That can lead me through difficult situations, that, if not treated carefully, could easily escalate into an argument.

Had I been less receptive and open-minded, I’m sure such things would happen often.

Exerting effort for negative actions are equally tiring – if not more so than positive efforts. It put one on the defensive and extra effort may be necessary to provide safety. Why bother wasting time on negatives when positives are easier to focus on – help me get inspired and in the process energize me with adrenaline and inspiration… the natural high.

I would rather be living on a positive note than on negatives. Respect for others… their beliefs and their right to practice such beliefs, so long as such does not undermine mine or another’s belief in one way or another. Mutual respect will have to be practiced, accepted or at the very least, tolerated with a surplus of patience, and the need to ably put one’s self in the other’s shoe.

Too often do I see indifference, bias… I strive not to add to these global woes.

Mind you, I'm copy-pasting the words from there.

Lastly...

"Ensure my children’s future as successful and independent caring leaders:

My children are my real legacy – they should and will endure, long after I am gone. My main responsibility in life is to give them the important lessons of wisdom and intelligence – those two traits that can make them strive for a better life, and allows them to be better human beings – to be looked upon as great and caring leaders.

Independence is important and I strive to make them learn to stand on their feet – knowing full well that they are capable of whatever challenges life will throw at them.

My children will continue in this world when I am gone – they will need all the rules and guidelines that they can use in life – I can’t promise to be with them forever nor be beside them at all times… I can make it a point though, that even if I’m gone, my lessons – my beliefs will continue to help ensure their safety… their living, and act as a solid value-driven foundation for their growth, and for their world."

I'd say this sums thigns up nicely. Once in a while I check if anything has changed with my prefered legacy. But there you have it.

Memoirs Q 48: How do you Engage with your Passions Outside of Work?

Outside of work... well, most of my time is directed to house chores now - given that I have no professional work related activities these days. It's called 'retirement' after all. So what do I do when not working at home? For starters, I just finished two roles in Toastmasters - that being the President of the Hall of Learners Advenced Toastmasters Club, and concurrenlty taking on the Division N Director role. That said, most of my free time was dedicated to either the club or the division. So yes, helping other Toastmasters is a passion of mine. Giving them opportunities to learn and grow, while I made sure my club was hitting its goals. The division was harder though... not everything was easily under my influence or control. We had to make hte best of what we had. You can only do so much. In such a situation, I would say, do what we can and not worry about what we can't address... help where we can, but not get frustated if things don't go the way we want.

Given these activities, I had a team that, I could say, were great at what they did. It took a little adjustment on my end - and most times, I had to just approve great ideas. Having a well motivated team was great. That was what I was taking advantage of in one instance, and what I was trying to form in the other. Call it luck, or meeting our goals through persistence - but we got to build a good team in time for the turnover.

Another passion would be photography, though nowadays its a bit downgraded. Years ago, I would practive on a daily basis to take pictures - to study great composition, but I have to be honest, I normally took pictures at the moment - not really considering angles, styles or arrangements. This was more a natural progression. Unlike say what my wife does - she takes pictures - study the image, and if it does not fit her accepted image, a rshoot is in order. Me? I take several shots and hope I get a 'golden' one amongst the ones I took. So which is the better procedure? I suspect both need to be combined.

Bakc then I would have my DSLR, my IPhone, my iPAD - three cameras, and the DSLR had three different lenses ready to be switched. I would lug all these, plus two types of tripods - let's just say they were not exactly light. But that was my learning phase. Yes, I took a lot of golden pics - I even experimented with infrared filters and black and white methods. The only thing I did not get to practive was model photography - and maybe some protrait and landscapes. But for some of these, I would have needed other equipment. Not only that, there came a time I really needed to upgrade my camera. But not being a professional photographer made buying new equipment - more so a newer camera, a bit pricey. Okay, not a bit... a lot.

Still, I learned, and now i'm just down to my phone cam. Do I miss my old equipment? Sometimes. But the convenience pf just having my phone cam ready is just enough for everyday use.

Anotehr passion I've had - something on hold for now due to a lack of space is my aquarium. I plan to get back to it some time soon.

Another? My comics and books. I always loved having a personal library. It makes me look learned. :D But it kept me updated. Once ina while I still look at my books for reference or for entertainment purposes. Unfortunately, the library is also on hold in my new place, and I've had to lessen purchasing books - though these past years, since the pandemic, I've switched more to ebooks. Too bad I can't dislplay them on a shelf - but it's convenient to carry the iPad around with said books... and comic books.

So how do I engage in them? Consider... some passions allow me to be alone. I like that. Others demand I communicate and impart knowledge with others - either face-to-face or online. But I try to find time for them. They are part of a life balance.

Memoirs Q47: Can you describe a situation where you had to reconcile differing viewpoints?

This happens more often than you think. It is a challenge to do so as an arbiter amongst colleagues or friends - mor cahllenging still if you are one of the parties involved in the differing viewpoints.

So how do I do this? I use empathy. I try to see the other person's viewpoint - where they're coming from. Just because we don't see eye to eye does not mean I'm right and they're wrong. For all we know, both sides, when seen at different angles, can be right. Let's not let bias cloud our ability to reason and understand each other.

This can be chalenging, specially if there is a looking deadline, and you're too wrapped up in a convenient solution. Unfortunately, the convenience mqy be just one way. We need to realize that. Is what they're saying important? Not evenything can be logical, too. Is there an underlying emotional dimension here? Is there a need to compromise for the greater whole's win.

In my ealry days of managing a team, I was tasked with mamaging a much larger team - and naturally, people saw me as the 'go to' person to help solve issues. Upon discussions we found a solution - wht I forgot to do was include the person who was the outgoing head. Unfortunately, she did not see this as a solution-finding situation, but a bypassing of her authroity situation. She did not forgive me for that. Unfortunate. As I said, I was not wrong, and we resolved a concern - good for the business. Was it an ego thing? Perhaps. To this date, I wouldn't have changed the dicision - but maybe considered looping her in on what happened. See, I was busy with a lot of other things too... but I could have respected her want to follow a timetable more. Ah well...

Memoirs Q46: How do you celebrate your achievements, no matter how small?

Achievements, big or small, are best shared with others - be they family, or friends (or both, even). It can be as simple as sharing a meal or dessert, or having a feast. Heck, if everyone is not able to be in the same room, celebrations can still happen - food can be delivered to different locations, so people can feel they are part of the celebration. This becomes highly important if the cause for celebration is because of a successful collaborative project, a birthday or just a team time out.

Milestones like birthdays or project activity completion (not necessarily the project's ending itself - these small wins give people the impetus to want to celebrate some more. It need not even be expensive - a pizza treat, or a pie is sufficient. The people will need to know you care, and also want to know that their efforts are being recognized. I used to do random treats to a class when I saw how hard they were studying,

As for family, any reason is appropriate. One thing we did during the pandemic was to make sure we celebrated small things... have a charcuteire, some wine, some food or even dessert - simply because we could. The fact that we were together, all safe, was reason enough. Now, in time when we need not worry about life threatening diseases, our outlook has not changed. Celebrate when we can, where we can - just by being together.

We shouldn't take life for granted, We shouldn't take things for granted. Enjoy each other's company, celebrate wins, celebrate trivial stuff while we can - because we simply can. Make life and experinces more enjoyable. Look for reasons to celebrate - then do so.

Memoirs Q45: What are the Biggest Challenges you foresee for Future Generations?

WOW... this is definitely a great question. Firstly, am I qualified to answer this? I'm not a futurist, or at least I don't see myself as one. But I'm not coping out either. Let me chew on this a while, though.

In a world where people can seemingly get all the answers, services and products they need at the tip of their fingertips via the Internet and the countless websites adhering to a business that caters to such needs, what would the future generations need to have? First would have to be 'Critical Thnking'. Why? Simple... one can get innundated by so many information - the real test now would have to first be sifting fact from fiction or opinions. For example, if one weree to doa search for something generally accepted in culture, say an explanation of the Virgin Mary... how many of the sites and given enteied could be considered canonical to Catholic beliefs? How many would be considered untruths? Misrepresentations? The problem here is there may be a dearth of factual information - so what fo we accept and believe?

Having the skills for Critical Thinking may not give you all the answers - but they can at least remove the untruths and let you end up with acceptable choices. They train you to ask 'why?', 'how?' and sift through untruths, biases, and other misinformation. It helps you sift through what can be false, what can be considered possible... what are probable truths, if not downright facts. Of course, in this particular example, you'd still have to weigh in faith. Accepting the answers now becomes a test of what you will accept. But at least, having critical thinking will help you sort through things. In an Internet filled with so many entries, opinions and downright fraudulent 'facts', they will need to know how to sift through the garbage.

Next? Patience. Given that tehy can have near instant access to so many things, waiting may be something they will not have to endure. But the thing is 'waiting' may make things better in some instances. Waiting for a cake to be baked, for example - or the creation of a Micheline Star dish... these may be worth the wait. Similarly, not everyone is always ready with an answer to everything. It may take a few moments - and maybe more, to get accurate information, or give the better opinion. The future generations need to cultive the art of waiting and patience.

Lastly, just to limit this to three... the 'Human touch'. This covers people facing skills. Talking or communicating clearly, showing empathy, and maybe sharing a lesson or an idea... the art of convincing others of your ideas. After all, people will still need to deal with each other.

Memoirs Q44: How has your Perspective on Failure shifted throughout your experiences?

Call it maturity... call it additional wisdom... call it an offshoot of age, wehre I don't feel that any mistake will last a lifetime, and if it did - well, it won't be as lng as it would have been had this irreperable mistake happen much earlier in life. Besides, I have skirted away form irreperable mistakes in my life - or I've been highly lucky in avoiding them or slipping past them. I would like to think it's because I have a good head on my shoulders too. So I thank a great education, social background - incuding family upbringing. I mean, they may not be perfect - but they gave me a great moral compass to use in life.

that is a roundabout wya to say that the stigma of making failures have lessened a whole lot. Back say when I was fresh form High School, I would consider the possibility of failures to really be a burden - something unsurmointable, hence also the connected risks of doing certain actions that could lead to such failures - and unfortunately, not risk the posibility of successes either.

Now I know better, I can take calculated risks. I have a way to assess situations; lessen the possibilities of unknowns, then take on an informed (as much as possible) decision. And if I fail, so what? It's not the end of the world - I just learned something else, an can always try again. So why do we tumble down? So we can pick ourselves up again. I think I got that form a Batman movie. So we don't fail... we learn. This puts a greateer positive spin on the concept of failure. That's the big difference with my current perspective.

Edit update (11/26/25)

I retrospect, I would not feel like makeing BHAGs - that's Big hairy audacious Goals, as per Covey Institute's ideas. But then again, was I someone to make such big things? I had limited resources, and a limited sense of worth - so I was careful with what I did, or did not do. I was cautious.

Now? still cautious... but not afrain to try thigns and make mistakes - just... not the financially big ones. Or not without having to consult my life partner / wife, before I embark on such. Failure still scares me, I guess... more so when I don't know what to do, nor where to go.

Memoirs Q43: What advice would you give to your Younger Self?

I guess it would depend on how young we're talking about. I would like to think that I was sensitive and had a good sense of empathy even in younger years, so I would have to either focus on reaching out in that regard - or make my younger self realize that I would need to strengthen certain aspects of myself more.

I would certainy tell myself to invest in stocks. Apple, Amazon, Meta and the likes. :D From a life lesson perspective, I would say have patience. There wa a time I was wondering why I wasn't getting a girlfriend - that's okay. I would be meeting someone real special around my late 20s, and she would turn out to be my wife. We'd be married a whole lot longer than my parents, so no worries about perpetuating the same mistakes.

But honestly, I would also mention a few things I might need to do better. No highly dramatic mistakes to avoid - thank God for that. So yeah... patience, stay grounded, you're doing fine. No need to get rich at he expense of losing your soul.

If I met my grade school self, maybe help my younger self learn to be more assertive - learn some self defense. Help build confidence level. Thing is, I don't want to overly exagerate a change either. After all, any mistakes made allow for wisdom to step in. So that would be important too. If I were to talk to my fresh into college self, maybe suggest going out less - and focusing on studies more. Maybe shift to Lia Com which would allow me to have more time to adjust into college life, and have a double major. Heck, if I could change life entirely, maybe pursue my initial interest fo Medicine - but that could be too radical a switch.

I would try to keep a lot of things together and not change them if possible - my family for starters. I would love to preserve them.

Edit addition (11/26/25)

I have remembererd how frustrated I was with my family's dynamics - that is, the failed mariage between my Dad and Mom. By the time I was in my latter grade school, I was getting sued to the fact that my mom, with ny maternal grandma, lived separately with us kids - as we moved from place to place, while my dad stayed with my paternal grandma. This is not to say that we did not see him. Out of mutual agreement, he could pick us up on Sundays, and we would spend the day with him.

But there were definitel constraints. There may have been times I would have benefited from a father's presence when dealing with... well, puberty. And life in general. I don't know if what I got instead was the short end of a stick, or a blessing I was unable to see - or was I ust turning lemons into lemonade? I don't know.

Suffice to say, my younger self was adrift in that regard... frustrated. So, had I the chance, I would have sat down with him to assure him that things would get better - not between them, but with me... through the lessons learned from the experience. I would apprecaite love and support of family - that would in turn make me a better dad. It wouldn't be the answer my yuounger self may have wanted... but at least, maybe I would have added more hope to his life.

Maybe I will turn this into a speech. It's too good not to share.

Memoirs Q42: Can you describe a moment when you felt Particularly Proud of Yourself?

From a self-fulfilment or professional achievement, I will always point out to my being able to teach Systems Analysis and Design for the first time, in Tanzania. Having achieved that was something not everyone would have been able to pull off. Not only that, the trip allowed me to save up for a wonderful Gicci watch for Barbie. See, she had told me she wanted such a catch for herself, but it was too expensive for her to buy. Remember, this was the time we were newly weds, and she was pregnant with our first baby - Bryce. So we had to save up for our new family.

The watch I gave her was the one that allowed for a change in color of circular bands around the watch. Simple designm but it was a cute symbol to have such a watch. Anyway, after Tanzania, I had a relatively few hours stopover in the Dubai airport, so I sought out the watch - see if I could afford it. Just curious, actually... with no real plan to purchase it.

What I saw, and eventually bought, was a different model - the more elegant and expensive model, with the band colors a bit richer. She did not expect this - neither did I, but when I saw it and asked how much, I knew I had to get her something. Probably the first real gift I bought for her. i had it wrapped as a gift, and when I finally got home, I howed it to her with the specific instructions that she not open it 'til Christmas. She could not wait tht long, of course, but she did ask permission to open it sooner. Naturally, I allwed it.

The look in her face was priceless. She adored the gift because it was somethign she wanted - and more. If anything, this gift made the sacrifice of being apart form each otehr for five weeks, worth it. Yesm seeing her happy - wearing the watch to work the next day, and obviously showing it off to her friends. I felt proud that I was able to make my wife happy.

I would say that self fulfillment is always good - but making a loved one happy is more fulfilling... therefore feeling prouder of my actions, or achievements, when seeing how it affects others. That bears more weight to me.

Memoirs Q41: How do you cultivate Meaningful relationships in your Personal and Professional Life?

So many ways to choose from, that I first will need to reflect on this.

On a professional level, I focus on respect. A spirit of camaraderie and collaboraiton. Clear expectations and communication. I either find a way to help when needed, or steer clear so as not to be a hindrance to someone's work. Focus on servant leadership and flexibility when dealing with differnt people. For this I need to observe people and consider their Social Styles and adjust my approach form there. Then I consider where they are in a situational leadership model and lead appropriately.

Do they need help? Guidance? Someone who can show the way?

On a personal relationship factor, I try to understand their interests, hobbies, find any commonalities - at least for new acquaintances. For those who are already friends and acquaintances, I can be seen as a quiet person. I am. I speak when I need to say something or share ideas. Otherwise, I'm normally in one side, or corner - in observation mode. if we share a common hobby or interest, I can help with the continuous conversations. for example, I would love talking about pets (my dog, cats and aquarium fishes), comic books, streaming shows - specially SciFi or Fantasy,

Toastmasters has taught me to open up,concerse with others, show interest(s), and Listen - that latter part shows you respect for them as a person, their interests, and their time.

Memoirs Q40: What are the most important Societal Changes you've witnessed in your lifetime?

I would automatically mention the EDSA revolution of 1986. You could say I was a front and center witness to things that transpired then. I saw history in the making. I was experiencing the hardships of the country with the low trust factor the county was experiencing from the International community from the conjugal dictatorship of the Marcoses. Then I witnessed the events leading to the Aquino assasination, the snap elections that Marcos decided to happen - Cory Aquino becoming the oppostion front runner - how the houswewise, challenged the (not so) strongman -it was rumored he was not well. How the election results were not going his 'as expected' lopsided way, how the nation suddenly rejected his party's path to continuity of power.

There were so much anomalies, that it seemed so 'thick-skinned' for the politicians supporting them to continue the narative of being transparent. Then it happened... as I was about to go out for a Saturday night, the Ramos-Enrile group decided to break away form the government. There are so many narratives to the reasons, but the fact was, these two - and their supporters decided to break away from the Marcoses and their cronies. Enrile the Defense Minister, who knew a lot and even participated in some propaganda moves, and Ramos - the West Point trained General witht he highest integrity, who probably got tired of General Ver's dictates. They started a miliraty movement to break away. They were soon supported by the Catholic Church, through Jaime Cardinal Sin, and later joined forces with the Aquino-Laurel faction.

What seemed a war of attrition and civil disobedience suddenlt turned into a peaceful demostration that blocked the busy streets of EDSA - a major thoroughfare in Metro Manila. For several days, people were out in an act of civil disobedience. Bakc then I was a graduate with no job - as there was a dearth of emplyment opportunities. So I was desperate for any change. Needless to say I supported the EDSA peaceful revolt, staying... guarding in the night til morning, at first alone... then with some friemends.

Irony of it all? I was a student of La Salle, and hung around with a group of Ateneans gaurding one of hte possible gates of Aguinaldo - doing our poart to make sure the 'loyalist armies' did not cross to Camp Crame where Ramos and Enrile holed up while calling anyone and everyone to support them. It was while I was with this group, that I saw helicopters storm into Crame - expecting bombardment of the HQ, only to realize that these helicopters joined the rebels. That was a turning point. From then on the momentum shifted away from the Marcoses, unitl they were forced to flee Malacanang.

To Marcos' credit, he never ordered Ver and his army to attack the civilians. Opting instead to be airlifted to Paoway, but then brought to Hawaii. Again, the optics can get muddled. But one thing for sure is that a great reason for the people turning against the Marcoses were because of the irregularities and abuses by Imelda Marcos and General Ver - both ruling with impunity when the then Presdent was too sick to know what was happening.

Yes, it was a historic bloodless revolution that to this date was still seen as miraculous from the point of it being nearly bloodless. And as I said, I was in the middle of it all. Why? Because we lived close ot Crame back then. Friends would even call me to find out what was happening.

What an experience indeed.

Memoirs Q39: How do you Define Happiness, and what brings you Joy?

Happiness to me is having what you want - what you need. That would be health, family, and any activity that I can enjoy.

What brings me joy these days? Chilling with my family - meaning my wife and kids. Even if it's just staying home to enjoy cooked meals. Doing home chores to make sure the house is enjoyable. Pets are also cause for joy - caring for them, be they our cats or dogs. My tropical fish aquarium would give me a sense of serenity, so I like just staring at the fishes swim. Walking my dog - even giving them a bath, seeing them happy as I pet them, letting them sleep at the bed. Reading books, or comics in a quiet nook. Listening to music. Wathcing a good movie, either in the theaters with the family, or at home with a good enough home theater set up.

There are other things I'd like to try, but time can be fleeting. I enjoy solving jigsaw puzzles - be they the 500 pieces or even the 1,000 pieces. I would like to get back to sketching, drawing, maybe even painting someday.

Oh yeah, I find fulfillment in helping others - sharing time with my Toastmasters colleagues. Visiting relatives whom I know welcome me. Reunions are cool too... so long as there is openness, and no drama. After all, Life is too short to waste on needless arguments.

When you think about it, my needs are simple. Just the comforts of life - a vacation once is a while - preferably with the family. A learning experience, either from trainings, symposiums, discussions, or books. Inspirational books that help feed the brain and the soul. Those kinds of things. Depending on what I would like to focus on, I can expound on certain things. You need but to ask me.

Memoirs Q38: What are your views on the Balance between Work and Personal Life?

Work-Life balance is important for me. For example, I don't want to be part of work that demands too much time of me so as for me to have no time at all to share with my family. Even if it's an uneventul weekend at home, the point is it's a break from the office. It was a chance for me to bond with my family. I wouldn't want to be too busy to skip important events like birthdays, Parent-Teacher meets, my kids extra-curricular activities, campings wehre I agreed to be a parent chaperone, family vacations. Family time was precious to me.



"Me time" is also important - so I don't mind staying in a quiet place to read a book, or listen to music.

But if a real need to spend more work time is needed, I don't mind putting the extra hours, so long as I'm given enough warning that such will be needed. Likewise I try to resepct my people's personal time. I don't impose on them. But should hte need arise, I do ask for their understanding. Ironically, in Fujitsu, my team loved doing overtime - the work was a lot, so we avoided getting work piled up. I'm sure my people didn't mind the overtime pay either... but there was one time I asked them to take a break - let them enjoy the weekend with their respective families or friends. Why? Because I know that even if they did not see it, they needed to rest.

So yes, I wouldn't mind spending more time at work, but we need to watch our health. We need to keep our familiar relationships strong, specially with kids. After all, we can't tell them we love them in absentia. Too many broken homes have kids going astray because the parents were never around to help, ro even just talk with them.

To summarize, work is needed - but not to the point of sacrificing health, family and sanity. We need to take breaks, so we can recharge.

Memoirs Q37: Can you share an instance when you had to Advocate for Yourself or others?

I can't really think of an instance when I needed to advocate for myself - or others, at least in a dramatic sense. I would, for example write reccomendations of a friend to others, or maybe even write a reccomendation in general for a colleague in, say, LinkedIn. So does that count? If it does, I would normally say how I know the person, his or her strengths - things taht would make them an asset ot a company that they are applying in. I don't stretch the truth either because I wouldn't want my own name dragged by some falsehoods - so I won't lie for anyone. I won't exaggerate, either.

But when you read certain reccomendations coming form others about me - reccomendations that I did not neccessarily ask for. Ones volunteered by them, I find the things that they say absolutely amazing, and I would love to shake their hands and thank them profusely. This is how they see me... and I am humbled by it.

You see, I don't brag about myself. I've never been comdortable raising my own image. I'd rather let my actions speak for me. I won't promote myself. Maybe during job interviews, I would expound on some qualities - explain my responsinbilities, but I focus on facts. No exagerations. If I have statistics or metrics to prove my point, I can use that. I would like to say that I answer with intergrity.

One example I can share about this was when I was reccomended by Lina, an ADB employee whom I worked closely with one year, but had to terminate my connection witht eproject once the comapny I was connected to ended it's contract of service with ADB. Lina contacted me ans asked if I was still interested to work with the project. I said yes, and she then reccomended me to I/ACT by virtue of my training evaluation metrics. She spoke up for me. Of course, I/ACT still interviewed me, but imagine your client saying they wanted me in the project. That was powerful backing right there.

One specific example I can give on advocating about myself was when the HR manager asked me what my greatest weakness was... I looked around his officew and saw how cluttered his background was and said, we have the same weakness - the capability of cluttering up work files. So I pointed out that yes, I tend to have that problem - just like him. It was the easiest thing that came to mind because I had a reminder right there, and it made me have a connection with him... some similarity. I did not brag, but pointed out that I'm not perfect either. In that sense, I advocated for myself by saying "we're alike and relatable, in that sense".

Memoirs Q 36: What Aspirations do you have for the Future?

A hope or ambition of achieving something... you'd think that at my age, I have no aspirations, or if I had - and not yet achieved them, I'd have given up. Instead, time and age, have made me adjust some of these aspirations. For one, I wanted to be an astronaut. Blame Flash Gordon and the likes. I wanted to explore strange new worlds and be a pulp hero. Yeah, lots of imagination. Well, science has disproven having life on Mars or Venus - unlike the Edgar Rice Burrough days. And I found it highly stacked against me to qulaify for a space program. After all, we were not a space age country with the needed scientists and fundings... much less, the opportunitues to pursue such. Heck, even now, I can't afford a space ride - it's too expensive.

So what else? I've wanted to be a Disco DJ. For a while, I was doing that - though not professionally. Just in High School parties. I would be the guy who know the great dance music - compile them and record in cassetes for continuous play for people (myself included) to dance with. But Life happened, and I could not enjoy those without sacrificing schooling. Even if I did not really like the course I took, I still needed to push through with a college degree, and hopefully land a lucrative job. But definitely not as an accountant.

I had thoughts of being a Doctor - I could help people. Heal. But my dad, and grandfather had other ideas - and disuaded me from pursuing such. The irony of this was that when my dad and his side of the family was getting older, they started lamenting the fact that there was no Doctor in the immediate family. Fools... definitely a lack for foresight. I doubt they remember that crossroad in my life.

I did find the ability to help. Maybe not heal, but definitely help - as a trainer. I imparted knowledge to others. This was what I did for decades. In fact, when I aspire for something, it is usually with the intent of helping others get better in their needed skills. As a Toastmaster, I've found opprtunities to help people improve.

But my greatest aspiration? To see my children - my legacy, improve to be better than me, and be leaders and influences in their chosen fields. My son is in IT, and my daughter in HR. I hope they find both success and happiness in their chosen lives. Meanwhile, I hekp where I can. One feedback at a time.

Memoirs Q35: How has your Cultural Background influenced your Life Choices?

Hmmm... It is an interesting question. I would have to first consider what my cultural background consists of. Let's start witht he obvious. I'm a Filipino. That already gives me a few identities. For starters, I grew up with a Catholic religious belief - with that, I practice what the church asks it's believers to practice. I go to church 'religiously', or at least, as religiously as possible. I am not a dye in the wool, deep practicioner. I tend to have a few practicalities in me - I guess that also means I may question certain logics - but not to the point of being an agnostic. I practice becasue it makes me a better human being - one with a consicence. I follow the tenets of Jesus, and though it may be difficult, I do what I can to make sure I stay in the light of grace. I do unto others what I would want them to do to me (a.k.a the golden rule), I resepct and practice teh Beatitudes, I recite the lord's prayer, hail Mary, appostles creed... but I don't strictly follow holidays of obligations.

As a senior, I am excused for doing fasting - but do abstain when needed. I practice What would Jesus do, or say - given certain situations. I would like to think that this believe and practice has given me a strong moral compass. One that guides me through some uncomfortable situations. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, but I'm no saint either - though I have not had any mistresses, but this is also because I came from a broken family, and despite everything that religion says, it could not solve my family's dillema. Because of this, I considered Divorce as a needed law... to lessen the sufferings of people 'stuck' in a bad or not-wokring relationship.

Because of this, I've come to the conclusion that God is infallible (by my believe), but his shepherds (priests and religious orders) are all too human and fallible. So I weigh what I see and hear. I also explore... I've read a few books on witchcraft (though have not really practiced them), read up and once owned the Tarot cards - gave it to my mom. (maybe I should get it back, now that she's passed away). I read, and even join Role Playing adventures that some lay practitioners would frown upon - Dungeons and Dragons is possibly taboo. But so is Lord of the Rings for their Wizards - neven mind that the story is about heroism and fighting for the survival of Middle Earth's soul. So this is where I question certain validities... practices, and Church stance. What then, does this make me? A partially practicing Catholic? Should there be a percantage mentioned? Simply put, I'm Catholic... but you can't call me a prude.

Next... I'm Chinese by name, but not by doctrine - at least, not Communist. I don't agree with their kind of governance where we have unism, nor do I accept their strong arm tactics to enforce a double standard between the Party leaders and the peasants. There is obvious exploitation and propaganda to cloud the minds of the masses. I grew up in a (pseudo) Democracy, but despite our government's many flaws - by the politicians, and not the laws, I prefer the freedoms I enjoy. Of speech, of learning, of reading - of having an open mind, and not having Big Brother control my life. Oh, Government is needed to put things right, to leverage equality and fairness - but not control and stifle. No to too much order and rules - but no to total chaos either. So what does that make me?

As a Filipino, I live in a country that is not totally unified. We have so many differences. Language (dialects), beliefs - both from Eastern and Western cultures, and in today's world - there seems to be a Globalized cultural acceptance. Just to give an example, my Grandparents grew up hating Japanese for the atricities of war they experienced. Items made in Japan were of inferior quality. Now? Anime - a Japanese form of cartoons and Manga (Japanese comics) are papular to the younger generations. They pride themsleves in being able to understand the language. Back in my early years, I would not have chosen to understand Japanese - maybe Frentch. As it is, because of college, and my upbringing, I understand a bit of Spanish. I am highly fluent in English. I prefered comic books, or Greek mythology vs. Asian mythology - was this because I grew up oin a family that enjoyed American products? Anyone remember hte Blue Seal cigarretes? I do - because I saw how relatives would smile when receiving them - not me though... I did not (thankfully) pick up the habit. Now? I enjoy Anime, and K-drama. I marvel at the fantasy stories, and mystical nature of certain tales. So I guess, I'm not too lod to learn new likes.

I could go on... but I think this entry's long enough.