Memoirs Q49: What impact do you hope your Life will have on Others?

To leave a LEGACY. This was one of Steve Covey's maid points when he asked people to create their Journey mission statements, and I tried the exercise. The entire statment can be seen here: My Journey Mission Statement

So what did it make me say about my Mission Statement? It may sound a bit dramatic... but for starters, I wish to -

"Explore what the universe has to offer as captain of a Starship:

I see my life as a journey… an exploration – meeting new people, experiencing different and new cultures, if at all possible. I would like to think that I can meet challenges and any need for change head-on, and I see myself like a legendary Starship Captain of Star Trek – with the roles of leader, peace keeper, and ambassador of goodwill.

I trust in what I can do, and the resources I can muster and keep the counsel of trusted and capable friends and family. I’m not afraid to make decisions that will affect my life – but I will tread a bit more carefully when it will involve the life of my family – for they should not suffer for possible mistakes I may stumble on.

As would a Starship captain – I would boldly go where no one has gone before… yet making sure that all moves are calculated properly, for the lives of a Captain’s crew and their family rests on his decisions and actions that he will take."

Next?

"Build a legacy for better understanding and tolerance:

I aspire to make the world a better place, by emphasizing on improving communication and espouse better understanding of others. These can be better practiced with tolerance of what does not meet one’s norm or expectations, and the understanding of others’ viewpoints – to better realize where they are coming from – in this regard, I follow Steven Covey’s statement – “Seek first to understand, then be understood”. That can lead me through difficult situations, that, if not treated carefully, could easily escalate into an argument.

Had I been less receptive and open-minded, I’m sure such things would happen often.

Exerting effort for negative actions are equally tiring – if not more so than positive efforts. It put one on the defensive and extra effort may be necessary to provide safety. Why bother wasting time on negatives when positives are easier to focus on – help me get inspired and in the process energize me with adrenaline and inspiration… the natural high.

I would rather be living on a positive note than on negatives. Respect for others… their beliefs and their right to practice such beliefs, so long as such does not undermine mine or another’s belief in one way or another. Mutual respect will have to be practiced, accepted or at the very least, tolerated with a surplus of patience, and the need to ably put one’s self in the other’s shoe.

Too often do I see indifference, bias… I strive not to add to these global woes.

Mind you, I'm copy-pasting the words from there.

Lastly...

"Ensure my children’s future as successful and independent caring leaders:

My children are my real legacy – they should and will endure, long after I am gone. My main responsibility in life is to give them the important lessons of wisdom and intelligence – those two traits that can make them strive for a better life, and allows them to be better human beings – to be looked upon as great and caring leaders.

Independence is important and I strive to make them learn to stand on their feet – knowing full well that they are capable of whatever challenges life will throw at them.

My children will continue in this world when I am gone – they will need all the rules and guidelines that they can use in life – I can’t promise to be with them forever nor be beside them at all times… I can make it a point though, that even if I’m gone, my lessons – my beliefs will continue to help ensure their safety… their living, and act as a solid value-driven foundation for their growth, and for their world."

I'd say this sums thigns up nicely. Once in a while I check if anything has changed with my prefered legacy. But there you have it.

Memoirs Q 48: How do you Engage with your Passions Outside of Work?

Outside of work... well, most of my time is directed to house chores now - given that I have no professional work related activities these days. It's called 'retirement' after all. So what do I do when not working at home? For starters, I just finished two roles in Toastmasters - that being the President of the Hall of Learners Advenced Toastmasters Club, and concurrenlty taking on the Division N Director role. That said, most of my free time was dedicated to either the club or the division. So yes, helping other Toastmasters is a passion of mine. Giving them opportunities to learn and grow, while I made sure my club was hitting its goals. The division was harder though... not everything was easily under my influence or control. We had to make hte best of what we had. You can only do so much. In such a situation, I would say, do what we can and not worry about what we can't address... help where we can, but not get frustated if things don't go the way we want.

Given these activities, I had a team that, I could say, were great at what they did. It took a little adjustment on my end - and most times, I had to just approve great ideas. Having a well motivated team was great. That was what I was taking advantage of in one instance, and what I was trying to form in the other. Call it luck, or meeting our goals through persistence - but we got to build a good team in time for the turnover.

Another passion would be photography, though nowadays its a bit downgraded. Years ago, I would practive on a daily basis to take pictures - to study great composition, but I have to be honest, I normally took pictures at the moment - not really considering angles, styles or arrangements. This was more a natural progression. Unlike say what my wife does - she takes pictures - study the image, and if it does not fit her accepted image, a rshoot is in order. Me? I take several shots and hope I get a 'golden' one amongst the ones I took. So which is the better procedure? I suspect both need to be combined.

Bakc then I would have my DSLR, my IPhone, my iPAD - three cameras, and the DSLR had three different lenses ready to be switched. I would lug all these, plus two types of tripods - let's just say they were not exactly light. But that was my learning phase. Yes, I took a lot of golden pics - I even experimented with infrared filters and black and white methods. The only thing I did not get to practive was model photography - and maybe some protrait and landscapes. But for some of these, I would have needed other equipment. Not only that, there came a time I really needed to upgrade my camera. But not being a professional photographer made buying new equipment - more so a newer camera, a bit pricey. Okay, not a bit... a lot.

Still, I learned, and now i'm just down to my phone cam. Do I miss my old equipment? Sometimes. But the convenience pf just having my phone cam ready is just enough for everyday use.

Anotehr passion I've had - something on hold for now due to a lack of space is my aquarium. I plan to get back to it some time soon.

Another? My comics and books. I always loved having a personal library. It makes me look learned. :D But it kept me updated. Once ina while I still look at my books for reference or for entertainment purposes. Unfortunately, the library is also on hold in my new place, and I've had to lessen purchasing books - though these past years, since the pandemic, I've switched more to ebooks. Too bad I can't dislplay them on a shelf - but it's convenient to carry the iPad around with said books... and comic books.

So how do I engage in them? Consider... some passions allow me to be alone. I like that. Others demand I communicate and impart knowledge with others - either face-to-face or online. But I try to find time for them. They are part of a life balance.

Memoirs Q47: Can you describe a situation where you had to reconcile differing viewpoints?

This happens more often than you think. It is a challenge to do so as an arbiter amongst colleagues or friends - mor cahllenging still if you are one of the parties involved in the differing viewpoints.

So how do I do this? I use empathy. I try to see the other person's viewpoint - where they're coming from. Just because we don't see eye to eye does not mean I'm right and they're wrong. For all we know, both sides, when seen at different angles, can be right. Let's not let bias cloud our ability to reason and understand each other.

This can be chalenging, specially if there is a looking deadline, and you're too wrapped up in a convenient solution. Unfortunately, the convenience mqy be just one way. We need to realize that. Is what they're saying important? Not evenything can be logical, too. Is there an underlying emotional dimension here? Is there a need to compromise for the greater whole's win.

In my ealry days of managing a team, I was tasked with mamaging a much larger team - and naturally, people saw me as the 'go to' person to help solve issues. Upon discussions we found a solution - wht I forgot to do was include the person who was the outgoing head. Unfortunately, she did not see this as a solution-finding situation, but a bypassing of her authroity situation. She did not forgive me for that. Unfortunate. As I said, I was not wrong, and we resolved a concern - good for the business. Was it an ego thing? Perhaps. To this date, I wouldn't have changed the dicision - but maybe considered looping her in on what happened. See, I was busy with a lot of other things too... but I could have respected her want to follow a timetable more. Ah well...

Memoirs Q46: How do you celebrate your achievements, no matter how small?

Achievements, big or small, are best shared with others - be they family, or friends (or both, even). It can be as simple as sharing a meal or dessert, or having a feast. Heck, if everyone is not able to be in the same room, celebrations can still happen - food can be delivered to different locations, so people can feel they are part of the celebration. This becomes highly important if the cause for celebration is because of a successful collaborative project, a birthday or just a team time out.

Milestones like birthdays or project activity completion (not necessarily the project's ending itself - these small wins give people the impetus to want to celebrate some more. It need not even be expensive - a pizza treat, or a pie is sufficient. The people will need to know you care, and also want to know that their efforts are being recognized. I used to do random treats to a class when I saw how hard they were studying,

As for family, any reason is appropriate. One thing we did during the pandemic was to make sure we celebrated small things... have a charcuteire, some wine, some food or even dessert - simply because we could. The fact that we were together, all safe, was reason enough. Now, in time when we need not worry about life threatening diseases, our outlook has not changed. Celebrate when we can, where we can - just by being together.

We shouldn't take life for granted, We shouldn't take things for granted. Enjoy each other's company, celebrate wins, celebrate trivial stuff while we can - because we simply can. Make life and experinces more enjoyable. Look for reasons to celebrate - then do so.

Memoirs Q45: What are the Biggest Challenges you foresee for Future Generations?

WOW... this is definitely a great question. Firstly, am I qualified to answer this? I'm not a futurist, or at least I don't see myself as one. But I'm not coping out either. Let me chew on this a while, though.

In a world where people can seemingly get all the answers, services and products they need at the tip of their fingertips via the Internet and the countless websites adhering to a business that caters to such needs, what would the future generations need to have? First would have to be 'Critical Thnking'. Why? Simple... one can get innundated by so many information - the real test now would have to first be sifting fact from fiction or opinions. For example, if one weree to doa search for something generally accepted in culture, say an explanation of the Virgin Mary... how many of the sites and given enteied could be considered canonical to Catholic beliefs? How many would be considered untruths? Misrepresentations? The problem here is there may be a dearth of factual information - so what fo we accept and believe?

Having the skills for Critical Thinking may not give you all the answers - but they can at least remove the untruths and let you end up with acceptable choices. They train you to ask 'why?', 'how?' and sift through untruths, biases, and other misinformation. It helps you sift through what can be false, what can be considered possible... what are probable truths, if not downright facts. Of course, in this particular example, you'd still have to weigh in faith. Accepting the answers now becomes a test of what you will accept. But at least, having critical thinking will help you sort through things. In an Internet filled with so many entries, opinions and downright fraudulent 'facts', they will need to know how to sift through the garbage.

Next? Patience. Given that tehy can have near instant access to so many things, waiting may be something they will not have to endure. But the thing is 'waiting' may make things better in some instances. Waiting for a cake to be baked, for example - or the creation of a Micheline Star dish... these may be worth the wait. Similarly, not everyone is always ready with an answer to everything. It may take a few moments - and maybe more, to get accurate information, or give the better opinion. The future generations need to cultive the art of waiting and patience.

Lastly, just to limit this to three... the 'Human touch'. This covers people facing skills. Talking or communicating clearly, showing empathy, and maybe sharing a lesson or an idea... the art of convincing others of your ideas. After all, people will still need to deal with each other.

Memoirs Q44: How has your Perspective on Failure shifted throughout your experiences?

Call it maturity... call it additional wisdom... call it an offshoot of age, wehre I don't feel that any mistake will last a lifetime, and if it did - well, it won't be as lng as it would have been had this irreperable mistake happen much earlier in life. Besides, I have skirted away form irreperable mistakes in my life - or I've been highly lucky in avoiding them or slipping past them. I would like to think it's because I have a good head on my shoulders too. So I thank a great education, social background - incuding family upbringing. I mean, they may not be perfect - but they gave me a great moral compass to use in life.

that is a roundabout wya to say that the stigma of making failures have lessened a whole lot. Back say when I was fresh form High School, I would consider the possibility of failures to really be a burden - something unsurmointable, hence also the connected risks of doing certain actions that could lead to such failures - and unfortunately, not risk the posibility of successes either.

Now I know better, I can take calculated risks. I have a way to assess situations; lessen the possibilities of unknowns, then take on an informed (as much as possible) decision. And if I fail, so what? It's not the end of the world - I just learned something else, an can always try again. So why do we tumble down? So we can pick ourselves up again. I think I got that form a Batman movie. So we don't fail... we learn. This puts a greateer positive spin on the concept of failure. That's the big difference with my current perspective.

Edit update (11/26/25)

I retrospect, I would not feel like makeing BHAGs - that's Big hairy audacious Goals, as per Covey Institute's ideas. But then again, was I someone to make such big things? I had limited resources, and a limited sense of worth - so I was careful with what I did, or did not do. I was cautious.

Now? still cautious... but not afrain to try thigns and make mistakes - just... not the financially big ones. Or not without having to consult my life partner / wife, before I embark on such. Failure still scares me, I guess... more so when I don't know what to do, nor where to go.

Memoirs Q43: What advice would you give to your Younger Self?

I guess it would depend on how young we're talking about. I would like to think that I was sensitive and had a good sense of empathy even in younger years, so I would have to either focus on reaching out in that regard - or make my younger self realize that I would need to strengthen certain aspects of myself more.

I would certainy tell myself to invest in stocks. Apple, Amazon, Meta and the likes. :D From a life lesson perspective, I would say have patience. There wa a time I was wondering why I wasn't getting a girlfriend - that's okay. I would be meeting someone real special around my late 20s, and she would turn out to be my wife. We'd be married a whole lot longer than my parents, so no worries about perpetuating the same mistakes.

But honestly, I would also mention a few things I might need to do better. No highly dramatic mistakes to avoid - thank God for that. So yeah... patience, stay grounded, you're doing fine. No need to get rich at he expense of losing your soul.

If I met my grade school self, maybe help my younger self learn to be more assertive - learn some self defense. Help build confidence level. Thing is, I don't want to overly exagerate a change either. After all, any mistakes made allow for wisdom to step in. So that would be important too. If I were to talk to my fresh into college self, maybe suggest going out less - and focusing on studies more. Maybe shift to Lia Com which would allow me to have more time to adjust into college life, and have a double major. Heck, if I could change life entirely, maybe pursue my initial interest fo Medicine - but that could be too radical a switch.

I would try to keep a lot of things together and not change them if possible - my family for starters. I would love to preserve them.

Edit addition (11/26/25)

I have remembererd how frustrated I was with my family's dynamics - that is, the failed mariage between my Dad and Mom. By the time I was in my latter grade school, I was getting sued to the fact that my mom, with ny maternal grandma, lived separately with us kids - as we moved from place to place, while my dad stayed with my paternal grandma. This is not to say that we did not see him. Out of mutual agreement, he could pick us up on Sundays, and we would spend the day with him.

But there were definitel constraints. There may have been times I would have benefited from a father's presence when dealing with... well, puberty. And life in general. I don't know if what I got instead was the short end of a stick, or a blessing I was unable to see - or was I ust turning lemons into lemonade? I don't know.

Suffice to say, my younger self was adrift in that regard... frustrated. So, had I the chance, I would have sat down with him to assure him that things would get better - not between them, but with me... through the lessons learned from the experience. I would apprecaite love and support of family - that would in turn make me a better dad. It wouldn't be the answer my yuounger self may have wanted... but at least, maybe I would have added more hope to his life.

Maybe I will turn this into a speech. It's too good not to share.

Memoirs Q42: Can you describe a moment when you felt Particularly Proud of Yourself?

From a self-fulfilment or professional achievement, I will always point out to my being able to teach Systems Analysis and Design for the first time, in Tanzania. Having achieved that was something not everyone would have been able to pull off. Not only that, the trip allowed me to save up for a wonderful Gicci watch for Barbie. See, she had told me she wanted such a catch for herself, but it was too expensive for her to buy. Remember, this was the time we were newly weds, and she was pregnant with our first baby - Bryce. So we had to save up for our new family.

The watch I gave her was the one that allowed for a change in color of circular bands around the watch. Simple designm but it was a cute symbol to have such a watch. Anyway, after Tanzania, I had a relatively few hours stopover in the Dubai airport, so I sought out the watch - see if I could afford it. Just curious, actually... with no real plan to purchase it.

What I saw, and eventually bought, was a different model - the more elegant and expensive model, with the band colors a bit richer. She did not expect this - neither did I, but when I saw it and asked how much, I knew I had to get her something. Probably the first real gift I bought for her. i had it wrapped as a gift, and when I finally got home, I howed it to her with the specific instructions that she not open it 'til Christmas. She could not wait tht long, of course, but she did ask permission to open it sooner. Naturally, I allwed it.

The look in her face was priceless. She adored the gift because it was somethign she wanted - and more. If anything, this gift made the sacrifice of being apart form each otehr for five weeks, worth it. Yesm seeing her happy - wearing the watch to work the next day, and obviously showing it off to her friends. I felt proud that I was able to make my wife happy.

I would say that self fulfillment is always good - but making a loved one happy is more fulfilling... therefore feeling prouder of my actions, or achievements, when seeing how it affects others. That bears more weight to me.

Memoirs Q41: How do you cultivate Meaningful relationships in your Personal and Professional Life?

So many ways to choose from, that I first will need to reflect on this.

On a professional level, I focus on respect. A spirit of camaraderie and collaboraiton. Clear expectations and communication. I either find a way to help when needed, or steer clear so as not to be a hindrance to someone's work. Focus on servant leadership and flexibility when dealing with differnt people. For this I need to observe people and consider their Social Styles and adjust my approach form there. Then I consider where they are in a situational leadership model and lead appropriately.

Do they need help? Guidance? Someone who can show the way?

On a personal relationship factor, I try to understand their interests, hobbies, find any commonalities - at least for new acquaintances. For those who are already friends and acquaintances, I can be seen as a quiet person. I am. I speak when I need to say something or share ideas. Otherwise, I'm normally in one side, or corner - in observation mode. if we share a common hobby or interest, I can help with the continuous conversations. for example, I would love talking about pets (my dog, cats and aquarium fishes), comic books, streaming shows - specially SciFi or Fantasy,

Toastmasters has taught me to open up,concerse with others, show interest(s), and Listen - that latter part shows you respect for them as a person, their interests, and their time.

Memoirs Q40: What are the most important Societal Changes you've witnessed in your lifetime?

I would automatically mention the EDSA revolution of 1986. You could say I was a front and center witness to things that transpired then. I saw history in the making. I was experiencing the hardships of the country with the low trust factor the county was experiencing from the International community from the conjugal dictatorship of the Marcoses. Then I witnessed the events leading to the Aquino assasination, the snap elections that Marcos decided to happen - Cory Aquino becoming the oppostion front runner - how the houswewise, challenged the (not so) strongman -it was rumored he was not well. How the election results were not going his 'as expected' lopsided way, how the nation suddenly rejected his party's path to continuity of power.

There were so much anomalies, that it seemed so 'thick-skinned' for the politicians supporting them to continue the narative of being transparent. Then it happened... as I was about to go out for a Saturday night, the Ramos-Enrile group decided to break away form the government. There are so many narratives to the reasons, but the fact was, these two - and their supporters decided to break away from the Marcoses and their cronies. Enrile the Defense Minister, who knew a lot and even participated in some propaganda moves, and Ramos - the West Point trained General witht he highest integrity, who probably got tired of General Ver's dictates. They started a miliraty movement to break away. They were soon supported by the Catholic Church, through Jaime Cardinal Sin, and later joined forces with the Aquino-Laurel faction.

What seemed a war of attrition and civil disobedience suddenlt turned into a peaceful demostration that blocked the busy streets of EDSA - a major thoroughfare in Metro Manila. For several days, people were out in an act of civil disobedience. Bakc then I was a graduate with no job - as there was a dearth of emplyment opportunities. So I was desperate for any change. Needless to say I supported the EDSA peaceful revolt, staying... guarding in the night til morning, at first alone... then with some friemends.

Irony of it all? I was a student of La Salle, and hung around with a group of Ateneans gaurding one of hte possible gates of Aguinaldo - doing our poart to make sure the 'loyalist armies' did not cross to Camp Crame where Ramos and Enrile holed up while calling anyone and everyone to support them. It was while I was with this group, that I saw helicopters storm into Crame - expecting bombardment of the HQ, only to realize that these helicopters joined the rebels. That was a turning point. From then on the momentum shifted away from the Marcoses, unitl they were forced to flee Malacanang.

To Marcos' credit, he never ordered Ver and his army to attack the civilians. Opting instead to be airlifted to Paoway, but then brought to Hawaii. Again, the optics can get muddled. But one thing for sure is that a great reason for the people turning against the Marcoses were because of the irregularities and abuses by Imelda Marcos and General Ver - both ruling with impunity when the then Presdent was too sick to know what was happening.

Yes, it was a historic bloodless revolution that to this date was still seen as miraculous from the point of it being nearly bloodless. And as I said, I was in the middle of it all. Why? Because we lived close ot Crame back then. Friends would even call me to find out what was happening.

What an experience indeed.

Memoirs Q39: How do you Define Happiness, and what brings you Joy?

Happiness to me is having what you want - what you need. That would be health, family, and any activity that I can enjoy.

What brings me joy these days? Chilling with my family - meaning my wife and kids. Even if it's just staying home to enjoy cooked meals. Doing home chores to make sure the house is enjoyable. Pets are also cause for joy - caring for them, be they our cats or dogs. My tropical fish aquarium would give me a sense of serenity, so I like just staring at the fishes swim. Walking my dog - even giving them a bath, seeing them happy as I pet them, letting them sleep at the bed. Reading books, or comics in a quiet nook. Listening to music. Wathcing a good movie, either in the theaters with the family, or at home with a good enough home theater set up.

There are other things I'd like to try, but time can be fleeting. I enjoy solving jigsaw puzzles - be they the 500 pieces or even the 1,000 pieces. I would like to get back to sketching, drawing, maybe even painting someday.

Oh yeah, I find fulfillment in helping others - sharing time with my Toastmasters colleagues. Visiting relatives whom I know welcome me. Reunions are cool too... so long as there is openness, and no drama. After all, Life is too short to waste on needless arguments.

When you think about it, my needs are simple. Just the comforts of life - a vacation once is a while - preferably with the family. A learning experience, either from trainings, symposiums, discussions, or books. Inspirational books that help feed the brain and the soul. Those kinds of things. Depending on what I would like to focus on, I can expound on certain things. You need but to ask me.

Memoirs Q38: What are your views on the Balance between Work and Personal Life?

Work-Life balance is important for me. For example, I don't want to be part of work that demands too much time of me so as for me to have no time at all to share with my family. Even if it's an uneventul weekend at home, the point is it's a break from the office. It was a chance for me to bond with my family. I wouldn't want to be too busy to skip important events like birthdays, Parent-Teacher meets, my kids extra-curricular activities, campings wehre I agreed to be a parent chaperone, family vacations. Family time was precious to me.



"Me time" is also important - so I don't mind staying in a quiet place to read a book, or listen to music.

But if a real need to spend more work time is needed, I don't mind putting the extra hours, so long as I'm given enough warning that such will be needed. Likewise I try to resepct my people's personal time. I don't impose on them. But should hte need arise, I do ask for their understanding. Ironically, in Fujitsu, my team loved doing overtime - the work was a lot, so we avoided getting work piled up. I'm sure my people didn't mind the overtime pay either... but there was one time I asked them to take a break - let them enjoy the weekend with their respective families or friends. Why? Because I know that even if they did not see it, they needed to rest.

So yes, I wouldn't mind spending more time at work, but we need to watch our health. We need to keep our familiar relationships strong, specially with kids. After all, we can't tell them we love them in absentia. Too many broken homes have kids going astray because the parents were never around to help, ro even just talk with them.

To summarize, work is needed - but not to the point of sacrificing health, family and sanity. We need to take breaks, so we can recharge.

Memoirs Q37: Can you share an instance when you had to Advocate for Yourself or others?

I can't really think of an instance when I needed to advocate for myself - or others, at least in a dramatic sense. I would, for example write reccomendations of a friend to others, or maybe even write a reccomendation in general for a colleague in, say, LinkedIn. So does that count? If it does, I would normally say how I know the person, his or her strengths - things taht would make them an asset ot a company that they are applying in. I don't stretch the truth either because I wouldn't want my own name dragged by some falsehoods - so I won't lie for anyone. I won't exaggerate, either.

But when you read certain reccomendations coming form others about me - reccomendations that I did not neccessarily ask for. Ones volunteered by them, I find the things that they say absolutely amazing, and I would love to shake their hands and thank them profusely. This is how they see me... and I am humbled by it.

You see, I don't brag about myself. I've never been comdortable raising my own image. I'd rather let my actions speak for me. I won't promote myself. Maybe during job interviews, I would expound on some qualities - explain my responsinbilities, but I focus on facts. No exagerations. If I have statistics or metrics to prove my point, I can use that. I would like to say that I answer with intergrity.

One example I can share about this was when I was reccomended by Lina, an ADB employee whom I worked closely with one year, but had to terminate my connection witht eproject once the comapny I was connected to ended it's contract of service with ADB. Lina contacted me ans asked if I was still interested to work with the project. I said yes, and she then reccomended me to I/ACT by virtue of my training evaluation metrics. She spoke up for me. Of course, I/ACT still interviewed me, but imagine your client saying they wanted me in the project. That was powerful backing right there.

One specific example I can give on advocating about myself was when the HR manager asked me what my greatest weakness was... I looked around his officew and saw how cluttered his background was and said, we have the same weakness - the capability of cluttering up work files. So I pointed out that yes, I tend to have that problem - just like him. It was the easiest thing that came to mind because I had a reminder right there, and it made me have a connection with him... some similarity. I did not brag, but pointed out that I'm not perfect either. In that sense, I advocated for myself by saying "we're alike and relatable, in that sense".

Memoirs Q 36: What Aspirations do you have for the Future?

A hope or ambition of achieving something... you'd think that at my age, I have no aspirations, or if I had - and not yet achieved them, I'd have given up. Instead, time and age, have made me adjust some of these aspirations. For one, I wanted to be an astronaut. Blame Flash Gordon and the likes. I wanted to explore strange new worlds and be a pulp hero. Yeah, lots of imagination. Well, science has disproven having life on Mars or Venus - unlike the Edgar Rice Burrough days. And I found it highly stacked against me to qulaify for a space program. After all, we were not a space age country with the needed scientists and fundings... much less, the opportunitues to pursue such. Heck, even now, I can't afford a space ride - it's too expensive.

So what else? I've wanted to be a Disco DJ. For a while, I was doing that - though not professionally. Just in High School parties. I would be the guy who know the great dance music - compile them and record in cassetes for continuous play for people (myself included) to dance with. But Life happened, and I could not enjoy those without sacrificing schooling. Even if I did not really like the course I took, I still needed to push through with a college degree, and hopefully land a lucrative job. But definitely not as an accountant.

I had thoughts of being a Doctor - I could help people. Heal. But my dad, and grandfather had other ideas - and disuaded me from pursuing such. The irony of this was that when my dad and his side of the family was getting older, they started lamenting the fact that there was no Doctor in the immediate family. Fools... definitely a lack for foresight. I doubt they remember that crossroad in my life.

I did find the ability to help. Maybe not heal, but definitely help - as a trainer. I imparted knowledge to others. This was what I did for decades. In fact, when I aspire for something, it is usually with the intent of helping others get better in their needed skills. As a Toastmaster, I've found opprtunities to help people improve.

But my greatest aspiration? To see my children - my legacy, improve to be better than me, and be leaders and influences in their chosen fields. My son is in IT, and my daughter in HR. I hope they find both success and happiness in their chosen lives. Meanwhile, I hekp where I can. One feedback at a time.

Memoirs Q35: How has your Cultural Background influenced your Life Choices?

Hmmm... It is an interesting question. I would have to first consider what my cultural background consists of. Let's start witht he obvious. I'm a Filipino. That already gives me a few identities. For starters, I grew up with a Catholic religious belief - with that, I practice what the church asks it's believers to practice. I go to church 'religiously', or at least, as religiously as possible. I am not a dye in the wool, deep practicioner. I tend to have a few practicalities in me - I guess that also means I may question certain logics - but not to the point of being an agnostic. I practice becasue it makes me a better human being - one with a consicence. I follow the tenets of Jesus, and though it may be difficult, I do what I can to make sure I stay in the light of grace. I do unto others what I would want them to do to me (a.k.a the golden rule), I resepct and practice teh Beatitudes, I recite the lord's prayer, hail Mary, appostles creed... but I don't strictly follow holidays of obligations.

As a senior, I am excused for doing fasting - but do abstain when needed. I practice What would Jesus do, or say - given certain situations. I would like to think that this believe and practice has given me a strong moral compass. One that guides me through some uncomfortable situations. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, but I'm no saint either - though I have not had any mistresses, but this is also because I came from a broken family, and despite everything that religion says, it could not solve my family's dillema. Because of this, I considered Divorce as a needed law... to lessen the sufferings of people 'stuck' in a bad or not-wokring relationship.

Because of this, I've come to the conclusion that God is infallible (by my believe), but his shepherds (priests and religious orders) are all too human and fallible. So I weigh what I see and hear. I also explore... I've read a few books on witchcraft (though have not really practiced them), read up and once owned the Tarot cards - gave it to my mom. (maybe I should get it back, now that she's passed away). I read, and even join Role Playing adventures that some lay practitioners would frown upon - Dungeons and Dragons is possibly taboo. But so is Lord of the Rings for their Wizards - neven mind that the story is about heroism and fighting for the survival of Middle Earth's soul. So this is where I question certain validities... practices, and Church stance. What then, does this make me? A partially practicing Catholic? Should there be a percantage mentioned? Simply put, I'm Catholic... but you can't call me a prude.

Next... I'm Chinese by name, but not by doctrine - at least, not Communist. I don't agree with their kind of governance where we have unism, nor do I accept their strong arm tactics to enforce a double standard between the Party leaders and the peasants. There is obvious exploitation and propaganda to cloud the minds of the masses. I grew up in a (pseudo) Democracy, but despite our government's many flaws - by the politicians, and not the laws, I prefer the freedoms I enjoy. Of speech, of learning, of reading - of having an open mind, and not having Big Brother control my life. Oh, Government is needed to put things right, to leverage equality and fairness - but not control and stifle. No to too much order and rules - but no to total chaos either. So what does that make me?

As a Filipino, I live in a country that is not totally unified. We have so many differences. Language (dialects), beliefs - both from Eastern and Western cultures, and in today's world - there seems to be a Globalized cultural acceptance. Just to give an example, my Grandparents grew up hating Japanese for the atricities of war they experienced. Items made in Japan were of inferior quality. Now? Anime - a Japanese form of cartoons and Manga (Japanese comics) are papular to the younger generations. They pride themsleves in being able to understand the language. Back in my early years, I would not have chosen to understand Japanese - maybe Frentch. As it is, because of college, and my upbringing, I understand a bit of Spanish. I am highly fluent in English. I prefered comic books, or Greek mythology vs. Asian mythology - was this because I grew up oin a family that enjoyed American products? Anyone remember hte Blue Seal cigarretes? I do - because I saw how relatives would smile when receiving them - not me though... I did not (thankfully) pick up the habit. Now? I enjoy Anime, and K-drama. I marvel at the fantasy stories, and mystical nature of certain tales. So I guess, I'm not too lod to learn new likes.

I could go on... but I think this entry's long enough.

Memoirs Q34: Can you tell me about a book or film that has Profoundly Impacted you?

So many to choose from.

I kid you not. From a character-building moment, I would have to say the Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien, I mean who wouldn't want to be part of such a selfless adventure to save one's world? Thogh it may be a fantasy genre, the characters shine here. Who did I relate with? That would have to be Strider. Mysterious, serious, capable, with a hint of dangerous. I mean, he is the reason I started liking Rangers as a class. You come and go, help in the periphery - fend off evil with nary a realization by others that you are doing this for their benefit - in other words, not for getting famous, not for seeking publicity.

Then as the story moves forward, we learn that his leadership may have a sense of destiny. He may be a naturally born leader - but since he's from a family that sort of failed to end the problem they now face... well, he does have a need to prove himself. He offers his sword, and we know his word is his bond. He picks up freinds - not because of who he is, but more of how he treats others. Yup. Strider a.k.a. Aragorn was someone I wanted to emulate.

Naturally, when the movie came out, I was elated. I mean I first read thr trilogy in the 80s during my College days, then reread it again some time in the 90s, and again in the 3000s - at least until the movies came out. From here on then, I watched the movies and marveled at the production quality. Did the movie do Aragorn right? Well there isn't much to compare with, so I guess Vigo Mortesen rendered Aragorn just right.

So both from a book and moview aspect, LOTR is up there in influencing me.

Is this the only book, though... not a chance. From a self-improvement perspective, I would have to mentioned Steven Covey's 7-Habits for Highly Effective People is an influential tome t understand how one gets better. It isn't easy to follow in totality either - but what it mentions is logical, and should be emulated, if you want to improve your inter and interpersonal self.

Another book? Situational Leadership by Paul Hersey, It gave me a great model to follow in terms of leading others. 've been using it since the 90s. So that's how influential it really was.

Memoirs Q33: What Legacy do you hope to Leave Behind?

I have been thinking about this... to be frank, it has been drifting in and out of my thoughts a lot in the past years. I initially thought about the idea of leaving a legacy behind when I read through Stenven COvey's Seven Habits and part of this was to knw what I wanted - my 'why', and what would I want people to remember me by.

I have not had the opportunity to directly affect such a move towards a legacy, though. Then again, perhaps it's because my goals change - and with that, the legacy I plan to leave behind. First of all, I hope that my kids become better leadersa dnd communicators = at least to as much as I can help influnce or chape them. Bernice seems to be more level-headed in this regard, and Bryce seem to be struggling. Intelectually, he's good. He's ana avid absorber of ideas - but there seems to be a disconnectbetween his applying his knowledge to common sense. I hope this gets better soon. Either way, their becoming mature and capable adults is slowly shaping up. This was an old dream/goal ever since they were in their promary ediucation. Now they're working adults. The dream still holds. I don't want to control them - but nudge them towards certain paths.

My next one is a doozy... lead like a Starship Captain. Yes, I am currently not in a strong Leadership position - but there are times I am asked to lead a group. Just a few months ago, I led the Hall of Learners Advanced Toastmasters to reach the President's Distinguished club recognition - the highest a Toastmasters club is given. I also led Division N, making it a better division with a livelier community than when I entered. Not everything was successful, mind you - but I strove to make the best of what I could get my hands on. What I could control. I would say the Division being in better shape is a plus factor. So the journey for leadership continues.

Lastly, to help contribute to making the world a better place - one converssation at at time.There are too many miscues, and misallignments happening and because of these, arguments, wars... it gets frustrating when world leaders focus on ego, selfishenss, power frabs and avarice to effect changes that have global ramifications. It can be so easy to say forget about all this shit, but there cannot be a place so remote enough that you wont' get affected by commone politican's stupiduty. I am still in an impasse to address this - much less start the journey. Instead, I do small actions that affect the people near me. To prove that positivity is not naivette, nor is it a weakness. It is a streth to forge to a better and brighter future, rathen than just giving up and letting ll this shit go to the dogs.

Memoirs Q32: How do you stay Motivated during Challenging Times?

If it were easy, it wouldn't be a challenge.

How indeed tdo I tackle challenges? FOr starters, I don't worry. Worrying is a waste of time and energy. It does not help, mor does it promote a solution. Instead of worrying I may do reserach on how others might have tackled such a challenge. I may research on historical figures, or people closer to home (if one is available - getting advise may help, but I also need to validate that such suggestions are worth doing given the sicrumstance.

I break doen the challenge into manageable aspects. Looking at any project can be daunting, so a project manager needs to identify phases, and within these phases, the necessary detailed actions to be done - hten the solution becomes real and practical. As the saying goes, how do you eat an Elephant? One Bite at a time. (with all due resepct to Elephants).

So to reiterate... don't get into worrying. Look at things logivally, see if hstory has dealt with this in the past. Get ideas. Study the challenge and break it donw into manageable and smaller pieces, orrage these into parts or milestones - ones you can better handle or even delegate to others. Then - like a project manager, tackle the challenge one step at a time.

Memoirs Q31: What are some misconceptions people have about you? (updated)

"Oh, yes. I'm the great Pretender..." Impostor syndrome sometimes creeps in on me when I'm in a project. There are times I'm just a few slides or lesson plans ahead of my students, but I get to come across as confident, competent and in control. If only they knew, I'm just good at looking calm and collected - but I get to push things through. I get to practice in break times, do a google search when I give them assignments. My mind is on overdrive to understand? Guts... maybe even foolhardiness... I sure have lots of those.

But I challenge myself to deliver - I may have learned something just the night before, but I research about it, and around it, so I have a practical or working idea, and not just 'textbook explanations'. That way, I can give out of the box ideas - talk tangent, yet still related topics, and ask my students questions that they apprecaite realizing the answer to. I research, and always look at things from the 'user', or the student's viewpoint. I try to answer "Why would they need to know this?" or maybe even "How do I get to explain things in an understandable, and relatable manner." - specially for technical or abstract ideas.

So misconception one? I'm well versed in so many things.

Well... not really. A few really deep cut - that's possible. I sound confident - perhaps because of my Toastmasters training. Plus the books I've read, or the videos I've wathced. I mean, if you want ot learn something? You can google search write-ups about it. Or watch how to videos in YouTube. Seek ideas? Watch a TED Talk. I know I've done it before.

One time, I learned how to assemble a PC just by watching YouTube, I did not even have a dsimantled PC to practice with while I was watching. But I realized that you just need one tool - a Philips screwdriver - the rest? Just like a jigsaw puzzle - each item has a specific connector type, so it would be near impossible to mistake connecting what shouldn't connect. Armed with this realization, I then taught it the next day in class. Mind you, the only reason I did this was because I couldn't find anyone to lecture about it in time. Surprising thing was, I even got the comment that I really knew what I was talking about.

Imagine that... I can sing about the Great Pretender and make it mean several things in various parts of my life, because I have been a great pretender several times over.

Highly knowlegable? Vastly competent?

I wish... I'm just resourceful, an avid learner, and know where to look. Other than that, I may be good at presenting, and talking about leadership - but this is after years of reading aand teaching about them. I also tend to cross reference ideas. That's me. But being an expert in anything? That can be a stretch... and a misconception that goes around.

A great leader.

Still debatable, far as I'm concerned. Yes, I can lead teams, manage stuff, set goals, and make follow-ups. But I still don't have a track record of having been successful in my own business. This is because I am still at a quandray as to what I can do... what I like to do. I may even lack the initiative to do things I need to do. Procrastinating? That is a big possibility. Something I need to find out why.

To be fair, I am good at certain things too - in other words, I'm not a total loser... I'm resourceful, able to research and learn, communicate and do technology or knowledge transfer... I seem well capable in this. Thus I come across as credible - because I know how to communicate to others. That is my real advantage... and what I need not say is a misconception at all.

Memoirs Q30: How do You cope with Change and Uncertainty?

I would liek to think that I am not easily fazed by change. I know that not everythign stays the same, so there will come a time when I either introduce change, and take it as a challenge to meet the chance in as positive a way I can. Learn from the lesson - then move on. Or if change is suddenly heaved to me... even if it is somwewhat devastating - like retrenchment... I don't lash out and cry 'why me?', nope I think okay... not he end of the world - now what? I try to spin something positive to this and not sit down and worry. Worry won't solve anything.

As for uncertainty? I live one day at a time. This happened during the COVID times. As the world was affected by the pandemic, as everyone was reeling from all the sickness and deaths of this strange, and deadly virus - with no cure in sight, we were all in a state of isolation. It was hard for many - but lucky for us, our family was intact, we stayed at home - followed safety protocols with respect to keeping indoors. I was the only one allowed to go out, for medicinde and groceries. I would wear a face shield, a face mask, and even at the early days, some surgical masks. We had to take every precaution, and the news was not positive - daily statistics of death, stories of how other countries were reacting - the deadly tableu happening around the world. At some time, I stopped watching the news - I knew I was getting overwhelmed, and I needed to focus on other things. My sleeping habits were getting affected - so much so that I stayed awake at night and slept through the day. I guess it was a form of escapism.

So what did I do? I focused on what I could do. Luckily, my family still continues working at home. Laptops and an internet connection became crucial. Zoom became the new tool - allowing people to meet virtually.This allowed us a way to keep connected with relatives, friends, and though we were unsure how long this pandemic would last, we discussed what we did, and planned for what we would like to do should all this go away, and life return to a semblance of normalcy. I bought stuff online - comics, books, even downloaded videas - series tha I've not seen for a long time. Many shows were being broadcst for free - a public service for people to at least enjoy. We all live together became a desparate cry for hope.

We continued living the best we can. Sure, Barbie and I got affected, but luckily, procedures to battle the sickness started filtering in. Strong antibiotics, throat meds... even when the vaccines were starting to come in. We did not follow the government mandate to get the Chine-made Sinuvac - I mean, we did not trust it. Better to wait a while longer as we heard there were other vaccines awaiting approval. Barbie and I were given priority, and we were lucky to get the Johnson & Johnson vaccine.

So living life, one day at a time. Staying focused on routines, watching positive-focused shows. Praying... reading books and comics, listening to music, watchign some classic TV series - like Batman '65 (yes, the Adam West batman show). All these to battle negativity and depression. We talked, shared ideas, plans with each other - it was a tightly closed bonding experience. We celebrated birthdays! Kept i touch with whomever we could.

I remeber attending three funeral services for different people. But later, I just zoned out. We could commiserate. But it was hard to share, to empathize and listen - I needed to zone out for my sake. But Barbie and I talked a lot at night. We comforted each other, It was enough that we could all sleep beside each other - we shared one room back then. So despite all the undertainties, we felt close, and we know everyone else was safe. That was enough for the day. We worry about the next day, when it starts.