Memoirs Q9: Can you share a Significant Challenge you faced, and how you overcame it?

I can share two - both work related. Both while I was with I/ACT (the Institute of Advanced Computer Technology). These happend sometime early to mid-Nineties. The first one was when I was assigned to teach in the Asian Development Bank (ADB) as part of the Computer Training group. My boss approached me one day to ask if I still know my Systems Analysis training from my I/ACT days as a student. I said vaguely... but I could refresh myself. She said I could sit in some night courses to refresh myself in Makati. Reason, she wa thinking of sending me as part of a two-person team to teach staff from the National Bank of Commerce, in Tanzania.

Apparently, I was noticed when I volunteered to teach weekend classes aside form my ADB assignment. This showed initiative, which she liked. Hence sshe thought of me for this project. I would be flying to Tanzania and stay for about a month. Both to teach and assist in the courses. I asked if there was a training manual I could use, and without batting an eyelash, she said yes. I would have to bring the manuals and transparencies (those acetates can really be heavy).

The challenge was that when I was already in Tanzania - at Dar Es Salaaam, I realized that he manuals were less helpful than I jhoped for. I ended up studying at roughly 1am, after a few hours of sleep, and thinking, wondering, connecting what I read, with what I knew about businesses, and the IT world. At times, I was just a day ahead of my students. Boy, was that challenging. To make matters worse, telecommuncation from Dar Es Salaam to Manila was not that efficient, and it was exxpensive too. So I couldn't ask for help for people back home to help explain cetain concepts to me.

Bottom line, I was able to conenct things in a practical way, and this was how I presented the ideas to my students. I didn't know it yet, but I apparently was using a prefered manner for knowledge transfer by connecting the ideas to practical applications. So, yey me!

Challenge number two.

The comapny underwent new management, and I stayed on to help the new managers run the business side of Training. I was now the boss in the first scenario. Unfortunately, there woudl be some decisions by the owners that would not be easy to sell. One particular case was with our Hardware training line up of business. This was a series of three classes - one week each. Highly technical. It was also run by a part-timer, J H. I hide the identity to keep this person safe, but I'm sure people working back then with me, will know who it is I'm reffering to.

The prblem started when managment decided on a price increase - naturally, the students taking up the first module saw the price increase and complained. Unfortunately, Jun did not help placate them, and even sided with them. Though they had valid reasons, Jun's style fanned the flames of anger and frustration of the class - then turned the problem to Marketing, who could not control the angry class. So they asked my help.

I already saw that this was a situation mishandled by the instructor, and Marketing was not able to control. They simply had no say in the price increase. So my first act was to remind everyone in the room not to shoot the messenger. I listened to their concerns (liek i said, they were legitimate ones) and promised to raise the issues with the new owners. I left feeling frustrated, and sought the owner - explained the reasons, and asked they consider keeping the price back to it's original one for the current students - so long as they would continue to the next scheduled classes.

To me it was simple - keep the prices as it was and have a guaranteed two more weeks of classes, or possibly lose these two due ot disgruntled students. Luckily, Management agreed, and I went back to the class to give htem the good news. I received a room full of applause, and that sort of assuaged my stress earlier. So... great work, me. I listened to the customers, showed my concern, said I would talk on their behalf - though no promises were made. Then I got to present their concerns to Management, and got the exemption to the price increase for hte current class... no thanks to the instructor, who washed his hands form the problem.

Memoirs Q8: What was your first job, and what did you learn from it?

My first job was as a developer in EESSCOM - I forget the aronym, but it was a PC assembly company that sort of repackaged, painted, then sold the PCs. I was hired as part of the software developemnt team, but also became part of the after sales service team. Part of the package back then was for every PC sold, there would be a free training in some software. These were DOS, Wordstar, Harvard Graphics and maybe even Lotus 123... just enough to make the buyer able to use the PC they bought.

What did I learn? FOr starters, that the business wasn't totally honest with what they sold. THey had two lines of PCs - one more expensive thatn the other - but the inner workings were all the same? The difference? The other was a dark gray colored casing (all painted internally, of course), so what the customer was paying for was just paint for the more expensive line. I also learned the need to test the PCs after, by keeping them on overnight - complete with monitors looping certain displays - their version of a hardware stress test.

I learned that if you were not in sales, you were not important in tihs company. I even participated in a 'fixed' bidding for a province, wehre we were supposed to represent different companies bidding for a hardware sale to the province. i was given the task fo representing one company (we were all formone company though, and I believe the Governor knew this). Man... I didn't enjoy that.

Given the chance, I got out to seek better employment.

Memoirs Q7: Were there any pivotal moments in your life that altered your path?

I will need to reflect on this a bit. Will update when I think of such things.

Okay. It really depends on what we mean by pivotal moments here. A time when I had a bad moment that made me realize I should be better than this? Sure, it happened. When I was in Grade School I got away with shoplifting - it became easy for me - unitl I got caught. Boy was that a humiliating moment for me. If I could run away, I would have. Anyway, I stopped doing it because it wasn't worht the agravation to me and my parents.

Another pivotal moment? Let's see... I can't really say. Maybe I can recally bad moments. As for good moments, well... were they life altering? The forst time I held my son; Bryce, in my arms - I was present in the delivery room - I remember the doctors were even asking if I was feeling woozy. Maybe some husbands fainted in the middle of it all? I don't know. But I flet a life moment change - form that moment forth, I was officially a father... responsible for the life of a helpless child. I did not get the same feeling with my daughter; Bernice, though, because I wasn't allowed to enter - as Barbie wasn;t the only pregnant patient around that time.

Did I get other epiphanies along the way? Like the start of this entry, I'll just update it as I recall something really important.

Memoirs Q6: How did your Education shape your Worldview?

In Gradeschool,I went to La Salle Greenhills. How did this shape me? For starters, I grew up in a more often English speaking environment, so I became a fluent speaker - as the years went by, my vocabulary increased. We even had speech classes, and a laboratory where we would record ourselves and listen and our teacher would comment or correct our pronunciation. Hence I need not worry about Grammar police when writing or speaking to others. My Education in this continues to be honed and sharpened by my joining and being active in Toastmasters.

In High School, I took my status as a La Salle student for granted. I did not see why others saw it as an asset in society. Guess that was because I was exposed to the environment all the time - I've seen what was good, and bad, and how I did not put this matter on a pedestal as others seem to take it as. It really did not get me to win dates with the girls... though that was also because I was not in any position to use it.

In College, I experienced a different world. Suddenly we wer co-ed, and I had friends taking differnt courses. I was taking Commerce - with an initial focus on Marketing, but I was seemingly immersed in something alien to me. Marketing needed someone who could talk, sell, convince others to buy - that wasn't me. I was more an introvert. Later I switched to Finance. Better... though I really did not like worksheets, and journals, and just appreciated spreadsheets better because they allowed for quick computations. But really, I wasn't too keen on learning the ropes about business, and I just graduated out of sheer determination. But boy, did I feel like a fish out of water. So how did this shape me? I dunno... it was a confusing time in my life - lucky for me I had friends.

Beyond College, I took a comprehensive Computer course in the Institute of Advanced Computer Technology - this was where I learned computers, programming in BASIC, a but of COBOL (too clunky for me, and I did not finish it within the given timeframe) and Systems Analysis - which I loved. I absorbed the concepts, the PERT chart, the Critical Path, I liked planning, and problem solving. This, I could do. So yeah, I got technical.

In my rather first job, I was a programmer - but I was also introduced to the Junior Chambers, wehre I learned about leadership, and thinking of projects with zero budget - needing to source these. The club taught me politics - which I did not like, and gave me a chance to be a trainer, when I took the training for trainers program. This gave me the needed skillset that I would be using for decades.

So how did all these shape me? For starters, it helped me realize more about people skills - and in so doing, become less an introvert, and more an ambivert. It helped me communicate, understand and even teach. Because I had great comprehension of English, I enjoyed reading books from a varied of genre - SciFi, Fantasy, Adventure... not much on Horror or Love Stories. Epics... depends. I got to Finish Gone With The Wind, Frank Herbert's Dune saga (all six original books), Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, even soemthing seeming as technical as the Tom Clancy books. I have a small library and I continue to add to it - though slowly nowadays... prefering audio books these days, or digital copies. Space became a concern, so I even have some disassembled book shelves. Just waiting to find the proper location for them, and my books.

So... I'm a searcher for knowledge, a wanderer for advanture, but I am also tethered to reality, can understand fianncials, can understand computers and the IT industry, and have built my comunication skills. I can lead when the need arises, I have a conscience and heart. I value integity, because I know how fallible we can be. I know I can be flawed - but despite this, I strive to be better.

Memoirs Q5: What Values were most emphasized in your upbringing?

We weren't given values straight forward like. No posters, or kumbaya chantings, nor were there oaths uttered. Not really. So the values instilled were mostly learned through others' actions (or non-actions).

We start with Respect - of elders, of other people, of family. I guess that would have been ingrained. This later extended to realizing that respecting otehrs with what we say or do to them - hence the Golden Rule of 'Do unto others what you want done to you' - respect by calling people by their name (assuming we can rememebr their name - but even here, there is a matter of respect by trying to make the effort to remember their names. Nowadays, it is alos respect of otehrs' feelings, life choices, beliefs. Seeing others as people - as equals in society's eyes. Having an open mind about things, and others. Respect was ingrained in us early on - and it serves me well when I practice it on others in life.

Partnering this would be something that is likewise ingrained - though admitedly, something I at times forget to do. Responsibility, Knowing what you ar responsible for, and knowing how this may affect others if you do, or do not enact this practice.

Then there's valueing truth, or integrity. Being consistent with what you do, and say, and making sure that these are based on truthful knowledge. No pandering of falsehood. This doesn't mean I'm a saint... far from it. But when I am in front of others - what they see is what they get. No pretentions, no deceptions. If I were to foster trust in others, I need to show them that I am dependable, and truthful.

As a boy scout, we had these laws that we uphold. Turstowrthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent. These were the values we expect to follow - and I was in he scouting movement for the better part of my Grade School and High School. I'm surprise I remember them.

I also got some of my values from comics, books, and maybe even TV shows and movies. The concept of heroism - of doing good. Persevering. The Hardy Boys gave me a sense of advanture - a love for mystery and problem solving. It also exposed me to the concepts of friendships, family, and community.

I'm sure they could be others. But these were my early values - most of which I still practice to this day. They form my moral compass.

Memoirs Q4: What are some of your Most Cherished Childhood Traditions?

The automatic response here would be Christmas gatherings. We ould - back in the days, make sure we were together for Christmas. At the least, as a family. But since our family could not get together for Chirstmas, we'd spend the eve preparing for Christmas - even at times going to midnight mass, so when we got home in time for the midnight hour, we'd eat of our Chirstmas feast. This would usually have ham, fruit salad, possibly pasta, and ube halaya which I would have been responsible for making.

Then on Chirstmas day, it would a trip with my dad to our Lola's place, or a relative's where everyone else would be gathered together. to continue the Christmas celebration with my dad's side of the family.

But the nice thing about Christmas, which is why it was my favorite tradition, was the carols that would permeate the airwaves in radios and malls - okay, maybe not so much the malls - except for COD and it's displays. The setting up the tree, and at an early age, I wanted to help set it up, so my mom taught me how to fix the lights before they went up the tree. That was my role. So when the tree went up for all to admire, I could say I helped via making sure the lights were all working and blinking. Oh yeah, not forget the presents. As kids we looked forward to presents, and were either happy with what we got, or disappointed.

Because of all that, the other traditions could not hold a candle to Christmas.

Holy week, for example taught us about Christ's sufferings. But as a kid, a;; I rememebr were that TV and radios would go silent. We would have to fast from a meal - taking on just bread and water, if needed. Plus abstaining from meat- at least until Easter Sunday. Sunday would be celebrating again - sometimes with an egg hunt in the gardens, later... these eggs would be turned into chocolate eggs - as opposed to the hard boiled eggs (I mean, one can eat only so much hard boiled eggs - but chocolates? No such limits. And because things were kinda boring for a few days, Easter wasn't as fun to look forward to.

Oone tradition my dad instilled in me was the love for reading books - I would read a book about the Hardy Boys, and once this was finished, he'd offer to get me another one. I later transferred this to my kids... a trip to the bookstore at around payday, and they could choose any book in the bookstore for me to buy for them. In my dad's case, it was coincidental perhaps... in mine, it was deliberate as I wanted my kids to enjoy reading.

Memoirs Q3: Who had the most significant influence on your life during your formative years?

I'd have to go with my mom. She was the family's pillar She may not have been perfect - and I did share that she could be strict and inflexible... with a my way or the highway kid of mindset. Still she taught me all these things - either as a way to emulate - or vow not to do to others. Either way, I formed my moral compass by these terms.

I learned to be good to others. Not to take advantage of others. To respect others. To keep one's promise, or word. To have a sense of honor - and do unto others... yes, even a healty respect for Religion. But as I said, I also learned a few things like being diplomatic about things, specially when my dad asked about my mom, and my mom asekd about my dad. I knew that saying the wrong thing would fan flames - so i carefully crafted my messages.

Mom also caried her sense of honor too high at times. She owuld quit a job when slighted - not bothering to fight back - thus losing out on others who wanted to ease her out. That would be a mistake, as her family suffered. I guess, she wasn't practical and when she decided... come hell of high water, she'd stick to it. I learned to be flexible and measure all the outcomes before making my final decision. I knew when ego needed to step back. When silence was golden, and what to do - and not do in times of conflict... mostly by dealing with my mom. So yeah, she was a great influence... but not in all the ways she might have wanted.

Memoirs Q2: How would you describe your family dynamics growing up?

Hookay... when I read this question last night, I just had to pause. I felt I was not in the right mind to answer it when I'm tired. I needed to reflect on this, as it would not be a 'happy' nor an 'ideal' story. No there are no deep dark secrets - but it won't be an ideal one either. So here goes...

My family life - growing up, wasn't an ideal one - we would be reffered to later on as a broken family. My mom left my dad while he was gone - and just brought us kids, and our grandma our of the house in San Juan (the H. Lozada one) and we just transferred to a place in Mandaluyong Capitol. The reason and story is fuzzy to me - oh there were depositions made about it when they went through a Church Annulment proceeding, but back then, my mom did not want us to read her statement because we'd lose respect for my dad> I guess she was shielding us from some painful truths. But that would happen much later.

As I said, we left. From my dad's viewpoint we abandoned him and tihs put him on a low point in life where he just wanted to srink and carousse with friends nightly - that is until Lola Nena, his mom, got him to move into her place. There were possibly several reasons for this separation - one of them was when my dad went home and beat me up with a metal hanger, accusing me of taking his wallet. I may have been a relatively naughty kid - no saint, but I did not do that. Still, I got black and blue welts - my mom nearly shot my dad for it. My Lola Nena asked to care for me, and I ended up recovering at her place for weeks. I guess you could even say all this made for a possibly nice TV drama.

But there we were - a broken family. My mom and dad were not on speaking terms, but she, and Lola Ruby had to work expenses through with the rented house. Me? Well what could I do? I will possibly admit I was afraid of my dad after that beat up incident. To this day, I try to stay independent of him. I rarely ask for his help. My sister, Bing bing, who was very close to him - as in she would sneak into his room whenever he got home back then - she was the most affected - possibly with a sense of abandonment as well. Then she felt hope when he invited her to spend some time with him in Malaysia, my other sister, Tizza - the youngest, was close to Lola Ruby, so she did not feel lost, or abandoned. She went with Bing bing to Malaysia. I had gone ahead of them and back - a chance for me to stay with him some time - and he brought me to a doctor to inquire why I wasn't growing up much - and I had just flunked out of College back then, so as far as he was concerned, I was drifting around.

That drifting was most likely because I did not have the needed support that a whole family would have experienced. I entered a course i really had no interest in -I was thinking Medicine... my Grandpa convinced me to take Commerce instead. There was no Syyap in medicine, he said... and I got swayed. Anyway, back to Malaysia, I kinda enjoyeying there... different culture, food was great, and sleeping in a flat - I experienced my dad's life as a top executive for SC Johnson on a reginal scale. I saw how friendly he was to people - with a dash of naughtiness as well. I statred seeing him as a person.

From High School to College, I wasn't the athletic type - I was bullied at times in Grade school. No familes to help me in campus. I had to fend for myself - I had a handful of friends, and we shared similar hobbies - comics being one, and a pleasure to play tag, but with a twist - the 'it' person would be a Vampire, and when you are tagged by a 'bite mark' on the neck (using our hands to mimic the sinking of teeth) - well, now there'd be two of you. Happy times in those brief times in school.

From Mandaluyong, we moved Pasig Kapitolyo, then to Life Homes in Pasig - this was where I got to meet some friends in the neighborhood, and spent my High School years meeting some girls too. We stayed until my College days arrived, then we moved to Cubao, near the Mariposa area. I had a few friends this time, outside of school and in school. My gaming group - SAGA, and my SA barkada. Needless to say, this latter group had me spending time away from home, and not concentrating on studies, until I got too many accumulated failure units, and had to leave, and transfet to the College of Career Development (later called College of Saint Benilde), which was night school.

But back home it was always me being the eldest helping out with house chores. We would have Sundays reserved with my dad - and he would bring us to Lola Nena's place - where I would spend time with my cousins. THere would be times I would even have summer classes with them, liek Karate and Swimming - but that did not last, and I was the quiet, distant cousin. This was because I was never with them long enough to get to know them completely and form bonds of freindships. There would be a slight awkwardness, I guess - having my dad and mom's situation as a non-spoken topic. But I also saw their family dynamics and wondered why we couldn't be that way too.

So... living with mom, who could not answer everything I needed to know. She treid her best to be a good disciplinarian too... sometimes, I'd have felt that she was too strict - but this helped me form my moral compass as well. I saw her look for companionship - but her marriage was a burden that always kept her from enjoying life. She looked happy at times, but these partnerships couldn't last... hence the need for the Annulment. Unfortunately, she did not get the annulment. There would have been times taht I felt the church was too rigid, and her and my dad's life did not check all the needed boxes to get annuled. So she ended up being alone a lot. But she kept trying - unfortunately as I said, sometimes being too controlling and demanding. There was a time I hated her for forcing me to clean the bathroom regardless of how late it was. My sister got married at 28 - and my mom blamed us for pushing her ot that decision... not for once seeing that she was at fault for being controlling, bitter and less empathetic.

Still she was mom, and I tried to make her happy by giving her what she asked for. But when I married and Barbie and I lived for a while in Cubao - hoping to save up and find a different place, her rules made our lives misserable at times. So I was also happy - for Barbie's sake and Bryce, to move elsewhere. Had she been more open and sharing, we could have stayed and helped her and Bingbing out. Later, because of mounting rental debts, she had to leave and transfer to Cuenca, Batangas - with Tizza and her family. Had she been more empathetic, she wouldn't have had to leave Cubao. Ah well... c'est la vie.

My priority was now 'my' family. And I would do whatever it takes to avoid the mistakes my parents had. Being abroken family wasn't fun, endearing and robbed us of the necessary support system to grow into complete and mature individuals. I, at least, had a loving wife, and got exposed to some great corporate lifestyles. I also had some learnings with first, the Junior Chambers, and later, the Toastmasters - so these things helped shape me for who I am. Yer, I can be naughty... but for the most part, I stay carefully respectful of others.

As I said, this might have been an emotional sharing - and a not too organized one too. But it happened. I'm sure I left out a ton of other things - mostly some fun tidbits... but who knows? I might share those as answers to the other possible questions. Yes, I don't peek at the questions in advance, and will answer them one at a time.

Memoir Q1: What is your earliest Childhood Memory?

When I am asked this, I haev to really dig deep into my memories - these were usually about life in San Juan - less the house in N. Domingo vs. the one in H. Lozada. N. Domingo was our place - but I vaguely remember how the house looks. Nope... I jus rememerb snippets connected to emotions.

I vaguely remeber falling down a ladder of sorts and my foot got caught, which left me hanging for I don't know how long - how I was finally rescued and brought ot the hospital, and how this led me to times when (and this was years later), I experienced needing to stop myself from habitually twisting my foot and somehow making it feel painful again - I needed to stretch it, turn it... but in doing so, I was making it feel painful again. Why? I don't know. I just had to will myself not to do this.

Then there was the time I rode a tree stump like a horse, and started giddy yupping, and feeling some pain on my leg whenever I moved it - until I looked and saw a hairy catterpilar with a good number of it's hair (or needles) stuck on my leg already. This was also painful later, because the way they removed the hair was to drip candle wax on my leg - definitely not fun at all... and it had to be done several times until there seemed to not have any hair any more.

I think I also saw a ghost one night ago. I was in the bed room when I woke up, looked at the door and saw an ethereal floating head. I just hid under the blanket hopeing whatever it was would not see me.

In H Lozada, whoch was connected to the N Domingo property via a back driveway.Both properties formed a big L-shaped property. I think the H Lozada property was my grandmother's property. Mom's mom - Loal Ruby> I vaguely remeber walking from one howse to the other.

In the H Lozada house, wehre we later stayed - unsure why we moved and when back then, I remeber haivng a long stair, and I would use a box as a car, and ride it down from the top of the stair.

I also remeber San Juan Fiesta - and throwing water to all passersby. Not sparing anyone. I even tossed water on a bus filled with nuns (I was a kid, so anythign goes), I was later tod that I shouldn't have done that. Worse? I found the faucet slow in filling up the pail, so I got water from the fish pond. Oh lordy, now that I think about it...bot, did that stink.

I also remeber the stick my mom used to discipline us - that was painful, until I learned to place a notebook under my pants.

Thise are my early memories. I'm sure there are others, if I think about it. I sometimes see baby pictures and youngling pictures - but tehy are simply pictures - with no connected memories. So yeah, I kinda remember these because of an emotion connected to them. But they are vaguely remebered memories. From a chronological standpoint, the N. Domingo memories are earlier ones.

Time to make Memoirs? Hmmm...

One Social Media advertisment states that by the age of 60, a person should start making their memoirs, By this time, they have had a lifetime of experiences, and "hopefully" the memories to recall them.

I'll admit to this making me curious. So what did I do? I checked out the advertisment and their approach would be to ask fifty (50) questions, and after you answer them, they will publish your answers intoa book - making up your memoirs. You can then make this a legacy of sorts for your loved ones, and maybe even friends.

I did not follow through with the needed payment for the services they offered. But it got me to wonder... what would ahve been these questions? I can imagine some of them would focus on one's chronological life... but is that it?

That said, I asked ChatGPT to come up with 50 questions that would help a person make their memoirs as they answered them, and I plan to answer them here. I may not have them published - but who knows? At least here, I can share theme to anyone.

So, I will do this, and in the process, likewise discover a bit of myself - maybe ask other friends to do the same.

An unexpected spotlight

Last Saturday evening, Toastmasters of District 75 had it's Turnover Ceremony, where the District Officers of TM year 2024-2025 were discharged (Yehey! I no longer am Division N Director?), and the District Officers for TM year 2025-2026 got sworn in. I officially became the District Disciplinarian - yes, that was how I was introduced.

Normally, I'd say I'm not too heavy on pomp and pageantry - I'm a 'keep it simple, and get things done, so we can work' kinda guy - but I understand the need for protocol, so we went through the steps, following the program. It was basically a night to honor Director Jot Chiongbian for his leading the District for one year. It may not have been a banner year with respect to getting hin=gh marks to brag ot TI, but looking at our performance within the region, our numbers were not too bad. We were a stable District showing growth wehre others were content with their status quo. Anyway, I digress.

What was different about this evening happened when Director Jot started his Valedictory Address. He discussed his term's achievenets - humble as they may seem, they were positive still. He thanked the people surrounding him, His clubs, his supporting staff, his PQD and CGD. Then he begged permission to give thanks to his Division Directors, starting with Director Jolo for Division A, and leading to me as last, for Division N. Each portion segmented to a Director was short - possible three sentences of praise, congratulations and heartfelt thanks.

Now, Division N did not grow, as we failed to add one club to our numbers. Sure there were prospects, and one even in the pipleline - but it took too long, so this club will officially join the next term, and not be part of mine - them's the breaks... at least, we tried. What we made sure of was to clean up non-performing clubs, and support the active ones. There were two stragglers whom we tried helping reform... one of them a new club - which was rather frustrating. Needless to say, I could not see any plus points for Direk Jot to add when he came to talking about me, so I was expecting a token thank you for your effort.

What happended, though was that he thanked me for certain qualites he saw in me as I was working with him - then he unexpectedly said this was something he dahred with his sister - but never shared with anyone else... I, that is, the way I acted, maybe even moved, reminde him of his dad. He saw in me qualities he related with his father who was a few years past away. I was stunned - yes, jokingly, I though... oh no, now I'll be the 'tatay' of the district. Not anymore a cool 'pogi' director admired by many, and loved by lots.

Okay, back to reality. I did however realise that Director Jot was honoring me the way he did not honor the other Directors. His father was influential, and even became responsible with him becoming a Toastmaster - so seeing in me the qualities that reminded him of his dad was a profound gift to me. I was somehow placed in that pstiion of honor by process of comparison. It was something others could not remove, nor dispute. It probably gave me some presitge points... as an elder statesman. I guess I'll take it. After all, if I were anything like his father, then that means if I play my cards right, my kids may one day be leaders in Toastmasters too... just like Jot and Pria are.

One a personal note, I nearly cried. But that's okay - I saw Jot nearly cry when we sang to him, gave him a card with a personalized poem, a bunch of roses, and an electronic album filled with pictures of us working with him for the year. So we're even in that regard. Not that I'm keeping score.

The Urban Legend

Have you ever heard of certain Urban Legends? It's funny how these things seem to have a life of their own in their retelling. Some can be suspenseful or down right frightening - others come with lessons learned. Maybe even acutionary tales. But what if the urban legend is about you? Or in this case, me?

This talk started as an attempt to be humorous. In hindsight, of course, I can now laugh at what happened. I normally start with how the story had to be told.

One day, when I was still head of the training team for the Institute of Advanced Comtuper Tehcnology, a.k.a. I/ACT,I came upon a few of my staff. One of them opens up to me saying "Sir... si (let's call him Ariel - not his real name) nagpaalam. Di daw makakapasok kasi may hangover. Naparami nang inom. (trnslated as the staff can't come to work, because of a major hangover).

I stared at them and simply said, "Unacceptable" "If you want to know why, ask (I point to our inhouse house-cleaning staff, let's call him Terry - not his real name either). So my staff proceed to interview Terry.

THey find out about the time I went to work, sporting a major hangover. How I looked tired, and upon realizing that the manuals were not yet bound (using a plastic spiiral binder), I called Terry to ask if he know how to bind the manuals. Naturally, he said no. So I look at the equipment, assess how it is used. Experimented with one manual, with Terry all the while watching me. And I successfully bind one manual. I turn to him and ask if he cna now do them, and he says 'yes'.

Thank God... I proceed to the rest room to hurl.

Back tracking a bit. How did I get to this predicament? I was an active member of the Junior Chamber of the Quezon City "Capitol" chapter. It so happened that at that time, I was a Director of the club, and we had Japanese counterparts in the country. Naturally, we had to take care of them - and this meant entertaining them - meaning a binge night out. One that lasted too long (at 2am), and with too many to drink.

I was meaning to call a counterpart to take my place for a class the next day - a Saturday. Unfortunately, I got too busy to call. Sooo... I got home really drunk - it was a wonder how I drove home - but drive (oh so slowly and carefully) I did. I noticed my wife was asleep, so I went to take a shower... and hurled... with the presence of mind to hurl in the toilet bowl and not the sink. I was still lucid enough to know that if I used the sink, it would clog. I even hugged the bowl lovingly because it felt cool to my acheing head.

I wnet to bed exhausted. and slept soundly.

Until I bolted up four hours later. I realized I had a class and no one to replace me. So I took a cold shower - anything to wake me up and make me aware. I drove to work (in Greenhills) still smelling the alcohol in my breath despite the toothbrush. I needed to get to work and try calling my colleague form there. If he could take my place, that would be great. If not, at least I'm there.

It was a whole day of lecture, with just manuals to distribute - yes, those manuals that remained unbound in the technician's room.

It seemed that Terry did a great job, and he noticed my favoring the water dispenser - drinking a lot of liquid. I finally called my colleague, and got an answering machine instaed. He was being cute and composed the message this way. "Woof woof, hehe, this is Gali (the dog), my master isn't home right now, but if yo leave your message and contact details, he will get to you as soon as he returns.

Out of frustration I said "Gali, this is Butch, please tell your boss to come to the office as soon as he hears this message. I;m not feeling well, and I need him to take over my class." I was impatiendt and used a rather pissed tone.

I then got ready to start the class - but before I did, I hurled again in the rest room. Wet my face, and wiped - then proceeded to do the lessons. The topic was Into to Local Area Networking, a topic I know in and out... but that morning, it was difficult to compose my thoughts - but I soldiered on.

Eventually, the morning break happened - which gave me a moment to rest my head. I think I asked for a paracetamol, or something. There was none, so I asked Terry to buy some in the nearest drug store. I took in more water, then prepared my next set of lectures.

To say that the day was difficult would be an understatement... but to my credit, I was able to bridge the topics together ans still sound believable (at least I hoped). Come lunchtime my colleague - Gali's boss, finally came. Thing is there was just around two more hours of training left, so it seemed useles for him to still take over. I said I could continue - though I explained the situation to him. To his credit, he did not laugh at me - his boss.

My addled brain being what it was, I had a participant who looked intersting, and started oepning and closing her legs - I don't know if she was aware of what she was doing, and honestly... I was not in my right mind to appreciate it. :D The class eventually ended, my colleague stayed on - just in case, and when we studied the evaluation forms, I averaged 4 out of 5 in my scale... five being Excellent, and four above average. I couldn't care less. I went home, exhausted but having done my job despite my predicament. I think I slept when I got home. I'm sure I did.

Now... imagine how Terry saw things.

Wanting to impress upon my staff, he most likely told everything he observed. How I helped him with the manuals, how I went to the restroom to hurl several times... note, I was careful not to make a mess, lest any guest use the rest room and complain. And how I soldiered on despite experiencing a hangover. How I taught despite my condition, and still got good eval results.

How my staff realized how things went and how their colleague really could not use a hangover as an excuse, because if I could come in and teach in that predicament, i would not accept such as an excuse form them. :D

Thanks to Terry, my urban legend; that of being a tough as nails professional - 'take and give no excuse', show up even with a real bad hangover kind of trainer. was born.

I cna now laugh about it - and when I tell the tale, I'm sure my friends would laugh about it as well. My staff's resepct for me rose by sevearl notches. :D

It pays to be an urban legend.

Understanding Me

This is a project that I've done at least three times before. So I try to find a different angle or way to tackle the project. In this case, I tried a different approach - going outside the box to describe my style. It makes the project feel fresh, at the very least.

How do I communicate? That is a question I rarely ask myself. After all, we’re taught to talk at an early age. But talking isn’t communicating. After all, Communicating is a sharing of ideas - and talking is just one of two sides… the talker, and the listener.

So… am I a listener? Any Toastmaster can be a talker - we’re trained to talk… and talk real good. But are we also trained to listen?

Yes. After all, if we are to give feedback later, we need to listen, we need to absorb, discern what we heard, then consider alternatives to making the talk better… then, and only then can we give feedback.

But how about outside of Toastmasters? Do I practice this as well? Here’s how I’d look like in a meeting.

I’m quiet:

I am normally the quiet guy - but not because I’m shy. If I need to report, I can easily do that - but I’m not one to hog the limelight and speak for hours in front of others. Not that I can’t mind you - I have been a Corporate Trainer for decades. I’m used to lecturing for hours.

So when I say I’m the quiet guy in the room, it doesn’t mean I can’t participate - on the contrary, I am participating by listening, understanding, maybe asking a clarificatory questions. I’m in absorbing and observing mode - specially during team meetings.

I’m a sponge:

Soaking up the ideas and or contents presented me.

Given what I hear or get shared with, I can think, I can extrapolate - then squeeze out what I’ve absorbed - I share what I know, or understand… maybe even infer some things.
This is another speech I composed for a Toastmaster Pathwya project. One that focuses on communication styles.

This is me showing you that I listened, and understand.

I’m like crystal… or I’d like to be.

I try to break down complex ideas into something easier to understand. Again, this is from my background as a Business Analyst.

I know how systems work (with procedur)
I know how developers think (logically),
I know how business owners think (what is easier to implement and does not cost too much),
I know how end users think - okay… maybe that last one can be a challenge.

But I can explain to them in simple terms what the system, as designed, is suppose to help them.

In that sense, you could say I’m an interpreter. I tell management what can be done and how things can be more logical - and I tell the developers what needs to be done… what rules need to be followed - even if they sound illogical.

Lastly… I can be a conductor.

Communicating how to put things together - which must come first, and why.

I appreciate a symphony - not cacophony. And you get such symphony when people collaborate smoothly.

If that happens, I know I communicated well. If not… well, we try again.

Bonus (if there is time), I do a plus / delta analysis with my team, always emphasizing the lessons learned… and great things we could repeat

This is me… this is what I do, and how you can understand me.

How about you? Have you given yourself a thought? Do you understand you?

Pasigarbo DisCon - Sunday: B Reunion, International Speech Contest Finals, lunch, and back to Manila

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A bit of a confession. I drank a lot Saturday evening, so much so that I felt it Sunday morning. In fact I was thinking of sleeping off the morning. However I had a shceduled Division B past Governors and Directors reunion with Dennies Siongco, a Cebu-based past Governor at 7am. You could say I did not really enjoy my buffet breakfast that morning. I enjoyed the reunion, but was in passive mode the entire time.

I even felt like hurtling in the middle of the get , so I excused myself and went to the rest room to hurle my breakfast - thankfully, Dennies and the otehrs did not really notice how I looked and felt (yes, I did not shower for this reunion either - but that's okay since my room was airconditioned, and I did not really sweat.

The next activity was a talk by Aaron Beverly, but I opted to go back to sleep some more. Get up later and attend whatever else I can. I dozed for at least two more hours - took a hot shower, then showed up late at the pavillion. After all, it wouldn't do any good for me to skip the rest of the DisCon. I had to represent N in whatever capacity I still could.

I would like to thank, my good friend Glenda, who offered to return to her hotel room to get me a bottle of water mixed with Berocca. This really helped me counter my hangover, and I could continue with the day. The rest of it was breezing through the International Speech contest, and taking group shots because we know after luch would be the closing ceremonies, and wveryone would then be getting ready to check out and leave for the airport.

While I was having lunch, my HOLA colleagues went to ollect me so we could finally get a group picture by the beach. You see, we'd planned this since day one, but we were all too busy with different things to get the gang together.

As my flight was around 9pm, and apparently, was in the same plane as Dan and a few other Toastmasters, we were to be brought to the airport around 7pm. Meanwhile, it was enjoy the rest of the day. At the airport we again saw Toastmasters - all ounging around, waiting for their respective flights. Ours was a much delayes one though, and what was supposed to be a 10pm arrival at Manila, turned into a 4am arrival instead. Man, that was bad. But as you can see, while waiting at Mactan airport, we were still all smiles - that was until we had to crowd around to board the plane. That in itslef deserves anotehr entry. After all, it shouldn't affect the overall positive vibe of Pasigarbo sa Sugbu.

Daghang Salamat to all the organizers of this DisCon. It was highly enjoyable and meorable despite some hiccups. Looking forward to the next Discon, this time, in Angeles, Pampanga.

Now I just have one question... what do I do with all these new wardrobes?

Pasigarbo DisCon - Saturday: Finals, DTM Aaron's fun talk, lunch and Director's Ball

Saturday... in Mactan... I'd think it was the 4th of July... (from Saturday in the Park by Chicago)

After breakfast, we all trooped to the pavillion to listne to our special guest, World Champion for Public Speaking Aaron (of the Indian wedding, groom's best man protect shoes at all costs talk - look it up in YouTube). It was a light talk, and I was half listening and half going around the venue. My first action? I noticed PDD Ninio enjoying a massage, so I opted to have one as well. Shiatsu pressure points massage, and the guy really did a number on my arms and shoulders. Man... that hurt... so... good. (Yes I can be a masochist when it comes to massages). The masseus offered to use lotion, but hot as it was in the tant, I did not want to feel sticky with intructions not to take a shower soon. Luckily, no picture of me grimmacing was taken.

One other thing the organizers wanted us to do was to have an outfit per occasion. This time, it was to come across as Havanna inspired outfits. So don't judge me - this was as Havanna-inspired as I could get.

I think it would have been better to wear the shirt out than tucked in. And did I mention the heat? THe Pavillion's aircon could not handle the heat - I would also say it was because the canvas roof did not have any insulation against the sun's heat. Suffice to say, my favorite location was near the Airconditioner's cool air release path. Aaron's talk came and went - and I did not have the notes taken - anyway, it's supposed to be recorded, so we'll eventually get to watch it again later.

We then all witnessed the Finals for Table Topics and Evaluation contests.

After this hot morning, we had a hotter lunch time. I simply wanted toeat and return to the pavillion - while others had the patience to walk around and have pictures taken by the beach and elsewhere. I just wanted to enjoy the cool atmosphere.

The afternoon also saw us witnessing the Humorous Finals. A prelude to what was to come next.

Next on the agenda was the one thing that many expected to be difficult. It was election time, and one of the things we were looking forward to was having the passing of a resolution by the Reallignment Committee, chaired by Past International Director Dotty Du, and as members of the committee, she opted to tap all the Division Directors to have a complete representation of District 75.

Honestly, we (the committee members) expected some pushback from certain people / divisions because they were not fans of our suggestion for all new Divisions to start fresh with an all new lettering process. Some simply wanted the option to choose and keep their old Division letters. It wa a bit sad that one such proponent for this move was Division B, my old Division from the vantage point that I was a Past Division B Governor. Many were simply adamant to keep the old letter simply because they did not see why everyone needed to start from scratch.

During our deliberations in the committee and votation, we had a close votation - and a tie-breaker for such an idea. But the thing is, we throughly discussed all these options. Anyway, we were finally surprised when the motion was passed with hardly ang oposition. Yes, there was a discussion - which got a bit heated, and lord knows I was ready to talk as well, butafter all was said... the motion to adapt the committee's realignment suggestions as a whole, passed. Whem...

We ended up really late, but there was still one more event to attend, plus it needed another attire cahnge.

It was a night of Sunset colors. The Director's ball - something that usually is a formal occasion, was now being presented as an outdoor, tropical, sunset event. I was really tempted to just stay put and not change clothes anymore, but it was also a chance to take a quick shower after all that hot morning and afternoon. So yeah, backto the hotle, have a quick shower, cool down a bit, then take teh shuttle to the Director's Ball dinner. Shouldn't be hard and complicated, right? Except that while we were in teh shuttle, it suddenly rained - hard. Now mind you, the Ball was happening in the outdoors. I can only imagine the chaos that ensued then the downpour occured.

When I arrived with the rest of the shuttle delgates, we were met with a table of people under tenst with the outdoor tenst unoccupied, waiters moving tirelessly drying places up - changing table cloths, or simply removing them. The food, unfortunately was not all saved - water-logged server trays and some were moved undert tenst - but not all. Plates were also wet. I had to seek some dry tissues or table cloths to dry up a plate I could use from the wet buffet table, and then go to the dry ones to grab what I could eat.

this proves that we had resilience. After all, what would we do? Complain? Leave? Gripe?

As the night went on, we all decided to forget the incident. Eat what we could then enjoy the entertainment - after all, the rain stopped, and the party continued. Goes to show how game we all can be. Focusing on what we can enjoy.

As Toastmasters, we still showed our smiles. One downpour will not spoil our evening.

Pasigarbo DisCon - Friday: Run-offs, and Opening Ceremonies

Friday morning started with an early Buffet breakfast for Director Dan and myself. After all, call time to the District Run-offs was at 7:30am. So we wend down to eataround six - ready to face the day. I won't bore you with details as to what we ate - this isn't the blog entry for that.I'll just say that breakfast was filling - and we would need the energy to work through a long day. You see, the Convention has not yet started, so there would be no lunch served to the delegates - unless you were party to helping the Run-offs er... run off.

As Division N's Director, I needed to be on Batch two's location to watch my contestants compete. Though I would have also wanted to watch Batch one, because HOLA's contestants were there. Ah, the travails of having these simultaneous events happening. THe venue of batch two was also st the Belmont Hotel - just beside Savoy, So after breakfast, Direk Dan and I went to Belmont. He as a judge for the first two contests. He would later transfer back to Savoy to catch the last two contests.

A bit of a back story, before we continue. The evening before run-offs, and before the welcome dinner, we - District Council, had a quick meeting to discuss what would happen (hence my watching Division N's competition, as the Director), and I volunteered for an additional task - that of being a 'watcher'. My role, disuade Toastmasters from taking pictures and videos of the contest. There would be assigned media coverage people for the constest, so the DisCon organizers thought that the members should sit back and watch - and not take pictures, nor videos. As a watcher, I (and anotehr volunteer) would watch the audience - and if we see someone taking photos or videos, we would be armed with laser pointers to signal the Toastmaster to stop what they were doing.

So, there I was, watching and monitoring the crowd - and true enough, I caught two Toastmasters in the act. I later caught a third one - but the point was, our group was able to limit the taking of videos and pictures. I watched Division N's contestants - noticing a few discrepancies in their delivery, but in the end, two N contestant moved on to the Finals - Humorous and Evaluation. On a side note, we later heard that our room had the better acoustics, and the otehr site was not strict with the picture-taking consideration. This is something that future organizers will have to consider. After all, it didn't seem fair to the people at our location that we were strict and the other side lax.

Anyway...

The next call time for us was 4:30pm for the Street Dance / parade to the event's place where the Opening Ceremonies would be.` All Directors were to also wear a Pasigarbo t-shirt... basically a limited release shirt only for organizers, Directors and VIPS, so yeah, glad I have one, as seen in this picture with Director Dan, myself and TM Marge. Direk Dan and I were wearing the shirt. Marge was a bit more formal because she would be singing the National Anthem later. We paraded to the beach area of Newtown where the Opening Ceremonies started as evening came - and boy were we glad for that too, because the heat and humidity was intense. Despite this, we were all having fun. The trio started the parade of Toastmasters after some street dancers, then we all followed, and as Division N, we arrived last. Along the way, posing with the tarpoline posters of N's contestants.

A minor huccup for the organizers... when we arrived there was no reserved table for us, hence we ran our of a tableto use. I asked the organizers to correct this and they later added another table for us. It took some time, but it finally happened. Meanwhile everyone else was linnig up for dinner - so yeah, we kinda ran out of food too. Bummer... but both eventually got resolved. Still, it was a ggod time, and the Fiesta Atmosphere that I mentioned I'd be looking for was finally here.

As the program officially started, we had the parade of banners, and I carried Division N's banner to the stage.

There were dance exhibits with Lapu Lapu and Magellan, and the rest of the evening was a large party with music, fireworks and fellowship. I hopped around between the N corwd and the H crowd as much as I could - but I also wandered around greeting friends and having pictures taken. The crowd enjoyed themselves and I eventually got tired and had to walk back to the hotel because there was also a free concert nearby, and the streets were closed with a sea of humanity. As I was winding down to sleep, Dan comes into the room and says a group of people from H were thinking of having more beers at a place nearby, so I got up and accompanied him to Chicken and Beer where we met up with a couple more Toastmasters to continue talking, and laughing.

We ended around 1am... so much for sleeping early. Tomorrow would be another activity-filled day - but before that, breakfast buffet again around 6am.

Pasigarbo DisCon! - Thursday, pre-DisCon

In a previous entry, I talked about how I was expecting the Cebu DisCon to have a Fiesta atmosphere... and it did not dissapoint! In fact, the DisCon delivered in spades. Let me share my personal experience here.

I'll post things on a per day basis, so the blog itself won't be too long a read. Thurday, April 24:
My flight to Cebu was at 7am, and touchdown was around 9. Umfortunately, I was unable to disembark on time to join a morning boat activity (with jet skis and para-sailing), ah well... I got to rest a bit in the room I shared with another Division Director, Dan. Dan arrived earlier, and got ot join said trip, so I had the room to myself for the rest of the morning and lunchtime.

I decided to sleep, since I had not slept properly the night before while waiting for my arranged pick-up and trip to the airport. Unfortunately, I was awakened by someone in the doorbell - and I apparently received a welcome platter. Unfortunately, the name in the card was someone else, so I did not touch the platter's contents until I got a 'go signal' from District Director Jot. After all, it would be poor form for me to eat someone else's welcome platter. I later learned that the platter was given most arriving Toastmasters, so it really was safe for me to eat someone else's platter - he probably got mine. Anyway, I took a shower, then slept. I would eat later when I felt more rested.

When I finally went down to the lobby and out the hotel to seek out lunch, I bumped into Direk Jonathan (Division L Director), and Area Directors Karen, and Jon - all three are members of CITI Toastmasters, and apparently, their club President, Nancy came a day earlier, and was enjoying some cayak time, even as we met in the lobby.. I then sought out lunch; ending up getting a chicken with rice meal in 7-11 (what can I say, I'm cheap). The other places were full, so I avoided them. The weather reminded me of summer, and why I would prefer staing in the hotel. So I bought lunch 'to go', and returned to my room.

The next activity would be the Welcome Dinner for foreign Toastmaster guests and VIPs (past District Governors/Directors) and World Champion for Public Speaking, Aaron. So I opted to go register and get my DisCon kit. in the afternoon, then just resting until the time to get to the poolside area where the dinner would be held. I got in early and sat in on Sulo Advanced TMC's meeting, get together - leading up to dinner.

My first option for dinner? Why, the lechon, of course. After all... when in Cebu, we need to have Cebu Lechon. After which I selected other items in tidbits, then some non-alcoholic drinks, and dessert.

Some Toastmasters from Divison N started arriving, and since we had more than enough food, I said it was okay for them to join us. Most of them were from the ING Toastmasters club and GSM. Then the fellowship started. Aside from chatting with each other and having pictures taken, we were regaled by a singer, and guitarist - purely a laid back atmosphere. Then people were asked to render a song - one per table (at least) and I was selecte to represent our table. I gamely agreed, and when it was finally my turn to sing, I chose a simple, yet poignant classic - Misty. Even the female singer agreed that my choice was a great song. I rendered it with little effort, and that was that. I opted to return to our room, looking forward to a good sleep, and need to wake up and go down for Buffet breakfast.

Musings for this Holy Week

This is just me. But I wonder if many other Catholics have similar musings of and for themeselves whenever Holy Week passes us by. Now what od I mean with this? Holy Week - at least here in the Philippines is basically a two day holiday (no work on Manudy Thursday and Good Friday for most people), and if you had work as well on a Saturday... well, for some this extends to Saturday too. Sunday is rarely work day related; except for the service insustry - which usually stays open Thursdays, and it's back to work on Saturdays. So technically, for most... it's just Friday. Bbut for a lot of office workers, it's Thursday off... and back to work on Monday after Easter.

Now, what do most people do on these days? Well, it seems that for most people working in the city, it's time for them to take a break - either go home to their provinces, or visit vacation spots with loved ones (or go trekking alone). This in tunr makes the city more convenient... none of the usual traffic congestions, and driving around is close to... well, heaven.

But what is the significance of Holy Week? How does it help us? This is what I'd like to explore on a personal basis. My thoughts may differ from others. Then again, we are individuals with differeing ideas and beliefs, so...

What is holy week to me?

Well, for starters, it is a non-work day (or week) for everyone. The last thing I think of doing is to go out of town. Joining the bandwagon to either vacay up north... and meet everyone crowding around in one city... turning into a traffic capital. That isn't for me. Best time to go to Baguio? A week before everyone else is free to go. But definitely not during the Holy Week. Same down south. The highways are packed with people leaving for their family break.

I did a few trips to Baguio way back when I was a young kid. Stay at my cousins' family estate. Kapit Langit - the Rodrigos' residences back then, and i liked the memories of horseback riding, of the cool weather, of walking in fields of pine trees with that pine smell. Roasting masrhmallows by the fireplace, while the adults gathered to talk, chill, drink scotch, laugh, play an early game of golf... it was a nice vacation. But as time passed, the allure of Baguio got lost. The rustic feel was replaced by a sprawling concrete jungle where you can whiff the smoke of traffic and hardly smell pine trees... except at Camp John Hay where they wisely kept things feeling like Baguio way back when. So nowadays, back to Baguio? No thanks. I would rather go to Sagada which retains (for now) the Baguio feels of old - yet with enough modernization like WiFi signals. But the smell of pine... the look at the clouds below you, rolling over mountain tops, the chilling weather. Yeah, that I would return to... someday. But not on Holy week either.

Down south is Laguna and Batangas... further down is Quezon. Mostly for beaches or resorts. Nice getaways - but not during Holy week when everyone has the same idea and vacation destination. Beaches wouild be... well, acceptable (btw, there are beaches up north as well around the Ilocos area), so if your thoughts are to stroll in the beach with the occasional dip in the water, well... that can be done - but again, I suggest... not in Holy Week.

Nope. Ironically, the best palce to be during that relatively long vacation time, is in the Metro. Sure, lot of establishements may be closed, but there are some that stay open. The sparse traffic allows for visita iglesia (where you go visit nine churches), or you can join the annual trek to Antipolo - and by trek, I mean walking... something my family did several times, and I even got to bring a few freinds along. There are stories I can share about just that - but in another entry perhaps.

Nowadays, i use the wuiet time to reflect, recharge and yes... renew. It is the perfect time to watch religiously themed shows - at least I can do that without and tinges of guilt. The shows also give me strong visual reminders of who Christ is... wht he went through... how all this, is to help save us all.

Way back when, that would be Father Patrick Payton's Rosary crusade - in fact, most televisions would be off air. Radios too. Many still practice this. It's their way of keeping things meaningful for at least two days. So we really had nothing to listen to, or watch. Nowadays, though, with streaming services... that temporary ceasing of services seems nearly inconsequential. You just choose a different platofrm to watch your shows or movies. One particular movie I watch is the Passion of Christ - the Mel Gibson directed opus. Highly visual... and it really hits it's audience in the guts. Now, however, I have gravitated to The Chosen - a multi seasoned series focusing on Christ's chosen - his apostles, with Jesus front and center at major corssroads - but the show also makes us see Jesus as a person. Fallible? Perhaps - but focused on what he needs to do. Serious with his mission, and once in a while, yes... with miracles performed. We have had several years to understand the disciples journey - we see their fallibility, and as always, Jesus' openess to forgive and accept his followed back into the fold.

My only minor peeve? It is taking literally years to pave the ay to Jesus' eventual passion. This coming season (Season 5) will end with the last supper. So, you know... as the saying goes, 'bitin'. But the journey is also somehting we half=heartedly dread seeing.Ah well...we all knwe what we were getting into when we started this watch.

But reflecting on that. I've heard how some grown ups now realize how the practices of old were sommewhat warped. Sure they may have been well meaning ones - but the explanation, or the reasoning may have been change for a few. I recall how a friend once said that they were not allowed to play until Jesus' suposed death at Friday, around 3pm, So what did they learn? Ironcially, to celebrate his death, witht he happines on now being able to play. You can't blame the kids for that. My household back then was the opposite - all fun ceased upon his 'death'. So we were raised to be more solemn.

But as time went on, as I grew old and had a faimly of my own, I stated being more practical - no, he did not die again. We are reminded of it, but we need not mourn. Let's remove the theatrics. Holy Week is more a personal reflection. How did I do the past year? Was I a better human being? Do I need to atone for some things? Are there adjustmenst in my lifestyle I need to consider to be a better person? I would liek to think that my family reflects the same values asbeing Christians are conerned - the right ones, not the ones simply practicing one thing in church and another outide of it.

Yes, we're all fallibel But we cna pick ourselves up, and knwoing better... trudge on the same path with renewed strenght and vogor, with added thoughts that what we're doing is still right. Or... having realized that some adjustments need to be made, do so, as we journey on. But with the thoughts of being a better Catholic always at the back of these Holy Week reflecitons. - that to me, is Holy Week. Review, Reflect, Renew.

Review how I've lead my life as a Catholic;
Reflect on the paths ahead; on the life I've led and that of those I've affected, and...
Renew my vow to be a better Catholic.

To stay the course of being humble, helpful and hopeful.

Positivity

Positivity: Lessons learned.

When I first read through this speech project, I thought – piece of cake. I have, after all, been writing journals for years. So all I needed to do was to continue writing them for two weeks. You see – as I wrote in the past, I used a freeform – ‘anything goes’ topic style. From my Wandering Mind to my Minutiae Musings - the entried were all about things I wanted to share... or at least have a place to post and read back once ina while.

However, when I reviewed what I wrote… I realized a few things:
- I can be surprisingly profound about life, love and how I am affected by it. I wonder what I ate, or drank those days
- I relate to myself, in a self-awareness capacity. Reviewing what I did, and if there was a better way to do what I did in a Manager/Leader’s capacity
- I tend to be accurate about certain analysis points (I predicted a Bongbong presidency way back when he lost the VP race)

Still… that was then. When I did this exercise again; this time… with focus on positivity and gratitude, I realized a few things:
- If you try hard enough, you can find something to be thankful for.
example: clean the ref to make space?
I became the human trash compactor for food items ignored by others for several days – just yesterday, I was forced to finish small white puto buttons, and a half pint of vanilla ice cream in one sitting - hey, someone had to do it.

Ref then has space for new groceries – and no food was wasted. When I told my wife about this, she gave me her opinion – something I cannot repeat, so I’ll just keep it as a personal term of endearment. :D

- Each small victory – and this need not be just my own, is to be celebrated.
example: my son moves from one job to another – but in a better company?
Congratulations! It’s margarita pitcher night c/o the family bar tender… me ;)

- Every trial will have their silver linings
example: my wife and I realized that she has a medical condition that will need an operation. Hence we’ve been to the hospital almost daily these past two weeks – getting different tests.

Silver lining 1) we discovered the advantages of being our kids’ (actually working young adults – but we still refer to them as kids) dependents and their Maxicare coverage. Most lab tests were covered, and Barbie gets a version of her annual physical exam.

Silver lining 2) My wife and I were thinking of having a vacation – even just a staycation. Well… wish granted, we’ll be billeted in the four star vacation destination that is Cardinal Santos Medical Center. Why just four stars? I can’t vouch for the food, yet.

How did I prctice this exercise? the Gratitude App.
In fact, if you are familiar with it, you will know that it can even help you think of topics you can start to consider being grateful about. If you have not tried it yet, I suggest you do. THe point of this being, by doing this ina regular basis - you may not be aware, but you begin to make a habit of finding and recognizing the positive spin to any situation.

As a trainer, self-discovery, and self-awareness comes with the territory
– but gratitude… that meant learning to appreciate the small stuff.
Put all these together, and they become the foundation for a happy life.

I’ve always been a realist vs. either that of being a pessimist, or an optimist.
But between these polar opposites, I’d rather steer closer to optimism.
With optimism comes hope, and that is always worth having. The Gratitude app, and this ‘Focus on what is Positive’ exercise helped me see things in a more appealing light. It helped me see the silver linings, and helped me be thankful in any day – in any way. It feeds me with hope.

I leave you with this…
Eat food to help make room for more food in your ref;
Nothing is too small to not celebrate, so look for any excuse, and celebrate often;
look for silver linings; specially in challenging times. It just takes a differing point of view.

Have a happy, thankful and grateful life.

Unconditional Love

Have you ever had a dog?
Have you ever experienced the joy of having one?

Hunter was my first official dog – a German Shepherd who shared my life for 14 years.

An uncle brought him to our home to show him off. For some reason, he got out of the garage, ran out in a playful mode, and onto a speeding vehicle moving downhill. By most accounts, that would have been the end of it. But the driver was able to brake fast enough, and Hunter found himself crying out – not from a car injury, but a possible pulled muscle and a sudden stiff neck. Not to mention he was traumatized.

My mom, got furious with my uncle’s poor judgement, leading to him leaving Hunter with us… or should I say, with me. Hunter slept at my bed that night. I was a young, College Freshman by this time, and a very private person – far from the sociable debonaire in front of you :)

That trauma with the car, however, would come back again and again by way of a debilitating pain in the neck area. He would yelp and cry out, and out of desperation, we gave him Neurobion (a nerve medicine) – that seemed to work, but it came to a point where my mom talked to me about bringing him to the vet to euthanize him. That evening I hugged Hunter and prayed to God give him more time to be my companion, at least, until I would have a partner and not be left alone. For some reason – call it a miracle, or an answered prayer even… Hunter’s attacks stopped.

--------- Fun times: We’d play ball – that would mean me bouncing a pelota ball on the floor to ricochet to the wall, and arch back to me – or Hunter; to whoever was fast enough to catch it’s downward curve. This definitely gave him some much needed exercise. We would go for walks – one opportunity arose; we snuck up on an unsuspecting cat, downwind – one slow step at a time. Hunter understood what I wanted to do, so he also moved slowly - we were on a hunt, and we were able to reach within six inches from this blissfully unsuspecting cat, who was busy grooming itself. We were literally on top of it. I then waitrd until it realizes it’s predicament, and like a flash, it sped away from us. I held back – after all, the challenge was to sneak close. Chasing would not be a real challenge… plus I’m sure I just spared the cat from spending one of it's lives.

One of the more consistent things Hunter would do is always wait by the door for me to arrive from school. Whenever I opened the door, he’d be there… excited to greet me. And it was a good feeling to go home to someone literally bounding for joy. It would also be a great counter to the sermon I would receive form my mom for coming home late. On certain occasions that I felt I was at the short end of life's situations, I would literally talk to Hunter - he became my sounding board. He looked like he understood me, and sat beside me to offer companioinship

No one outside of my family could approach me when I was asleep. And even then, if any of my sisters would try - he’d give a warning growl. I would therefore wake because they would start berating Hunter. It wasn't his fault, he was just protecting me. Meanwhile, they (my sisters) would stay a respectful distance away while dong so.

I used to own a harmonica, and tried playing a sad haunting tune with it; Hunter would start moaning and bellowing – singing in accompaniment. Amazing, huh? He could feel the emotive nature of the tune and join in. Hunter was also social with my friends. WHenever they visited, he'd just be under the table - seemingly listening to teh conversations. He saw me accepting them, and in the process, he, too, accpeted their comapny. When I'd converse and drink some alcoholic beverages with them until late at night, he'd stay with us for the duration of their visit. If a friend slept at my spare bed, Hunter would allow it - he even had this habit of getting the cardboard center of a toilet paper roll, and just chew and salivate on it. Then he'd put it on my sleeping frien's chest - sort of asking to play toss the soggy roll, and he would fetch it, then return it to repeat the process of toss and fetch.

-------- Hunter meets Barbie Hunter was my dog, years before I met Barbie. When I brought Barbie home to meet the family on my mom’s birthday, Hunter stuck close – always observing, and smelling her. He was measuring her – to see if she was worthy of me. As time went by, if he saw her hugging me, he would insist on putting himself between us. But he would also notice my mood – and know that Barbie wasn’t hurting me at all… just frustrated with his over-protectiveness. He accepted (or tolerated) her around me.

When she would mockingly act like she was attacking me, he knew enough to intervene – but not attack. You have to realize, against a petite female; a full grown German Shepherd can intervene in a lot of ways. Still… for the love of me, they tolerated – even loved each other.

Nerve attacks again: One night his nerve attacks came back. This was Barbie’s first time seeming Hunter this way, and she tried comforting him too. Again I prayed silently… this time, asking God not to take Hunter yet – at least, not until I had a family… and like before, the attacks subsided. However, I also realized that Hunter had been my constant companion for close to 14 years, and his age was catching up. For all intents and purposes, he was a senior - an aged dog in his twilight years Hunter leaves: When Hunter finally left me, it hurt a lot. I won’t be ashamed to say I cried. I had to bring him to a place in Manila that accepted animals for burial. After all, it would be hard to bury a relatively large dog in a place that hardly had soil. I had to borrow a friend's car. When Fred found out why I needed the car - no questions asked, he lent me the car. This ws to rush him to the vet. He also knew how close Hunter was to me. Unfortunately, when I saw tht HUnter looked to want some water, I asked the vet clinic if they had a water dish. For some reason, they didn't and we ended up looking around. By the time I returned to him, Hunter was already gone. I hated the clinic for robbing me of having those last moments with Hunter. Fred and I searched for the burial place, before that, we even brought Hunter to my sister, to sort of say their goodbyes. I was drained, tired, and sad - but when I got home, Barbie comforted me, and showed me the ‘good news’ – she was pregnant (with Bryce).

It seemed that Hunter had stayed on until I had my family… he left knowing I was not alone anymore. His mission of companionship, loyalty and unconditional love had ended. He knew I was in good hands. I thanked God for all those years and imagine him looking down on me from pet heaven.

Truth be told, I enjoyed my experience with Hunter. Yes, his passing was painful. But rather than focus on the pain of his leaving, I prefer to remember the good old days. Do I regret having Hunter? Of course not. Would I do it again? We did. Still do. You can learn and grow with your dog. They will reward you with loyalty, playfulness but most of all… unconditional love. So, my advice? Ditch your aloof and demanding cats, and adopt a dog as your companion instead. Hahahaha! Just kidding... we do have cats too. But the commection just isn't the same. The show of unconditional love is deep with dogs, and I'd like to think they also make you a better person for it.

Addendum: I've had four dogs after hunter - as a family we cared for them as best we could. Ciscumstances, however, conspired to prevent us from having them as long as we wanted. Still, I did love them all. I was sorry to see them go. Three of them went to Cuenca to live with my sister - and we got to see them whnever we went to Cuenca, Batangas. Unfortunately, I did not get to see them 'go' because Batangas is far, and the first two to go, left during the pandemic - so I really cound not visit even if I wanted to.

Now. Heuwulf is technically my sixth dog - and once again, just like Hunter was... Beowulf is a German Shepherd. The adventue continues, and once again, I experience unconditoninal love - together with my family, in Beowulf's actions.