Memoirs Q27: How has your Understanding of Love and Relationships Evolved over time?

As a Teenager, I was filled with idyllic concepts of seeing women in a romantic vein. Of wooing and maybe even saving a damsel in distress. So when I met ladies during our brother-sister class activities, they seemed underwhelming. I honestly was not expereinced talking with ladies - heck, I hardly talked with my cousiins, so knowing what ladies liked was, well, a mystery. Note to self, I may know a lot more now - but understanding women is still a mystery, so I just give up trying.

I never had a chance to have a girlfriend during College, even. I felt deprived at times, why were some people getting action while I was still, well... a virgin. For someone who was a romantic, and not getting any... that was frustrating. I met a woman in the old neighborhood, and this was where I realize that 'Good Guys don't alwasy end with the girl', and what could have been my first romatic relationship ended up in a 'she got tired of waiting and answered someone else'. There were other opportunities, but I had limits - no phone, far from 'civilization' (relatively speaking, knowing I had some admirers, but was never told who).

I finally met my wife-to-be via a job interview. Charming, and this time, we were living in a more accessible locale, and yes... I had a phone. More so, I still visited a friend close to my old Alma Mater - this allowed me to have conversations with her without having my mom lingering nearby. What I liked about my 'getting to know you better' conversations with Barbie was how she seemed level headed, had a good moral standing, and wasn't too egotistic, nor seemingly a majordoma. She was not totally opinionated - I would even consider comparing her to a Maria Clara of the old Rizal novel.

So how did my realization of love come to fore? Getting to know someone, always treating her with respect, and having a lot of simple quiet time with eahc other. It eventually led to getting to know each other intimately. Meanwhile, we were thinking in terms of future plans. We loved each other enough to plan for our future. Marriage, a family, and thoughts of having kids.

Now I can say, I have a more realistic concept of love. Partnership, Companioinship. The mindset of having someone to enjoy life with. Less sex, more leving and loving. Yeah, I still look at PYTs. But it was more admiration - not conquest. I stand by my partner out of love, appreciation and respect.